The other evening, it was witching hour, and my three kids were…
…hyped.
We had just spent the past hour playing in the backyard. Tag, hide-and-seek, and drawing a never-ending hopscotch grid with chalk on the warm cement.
But then cool ocean fog rolled into the our small town, cutting short our outside time. I ushered the children inside, while my husband stayed outside, picking up all the discarded toys.
For the next few minutes, I, a tired 33-year-old teenager, was in charge of three small children. Here are a couple of sentences that came out of my mouth:
Emiliano, we don’t spit in this house!
Oh, Ella, honey, people might not like it if you tell them they will die forever.
Yes, you can stand on my back. Just no jumping.
Please don’t lick the baby.
At that time, all my attention was focused on playing and explaining why we don’t cover babies with saliva. But later that night, when the kids were tucked into bed, I started laughing.
Since becoming a parent five years ago, I’ve done many things that I had expected. Like, marvel at my babies’ sweet profiles. Or introduce them to solids, watching them delight in perfectly ripe strawberries and creamy Greek yogurt.
I even anticipated some of the harder moments, such as cleaning diaper blowouts, managing overtired toddlers, and trusting others to care for my kids just as much as I do.
But what I did not expect was all the off-the-wall phrases parenting would draw out of my mouth.
How about you? What funny things have you said to the kids in your life?
P.S. How to teach your kids to chat during dinner and parenting in 10 words or fewer.
(Photo by Tara Romasanta Photography/Stocksy.)
