“If Auntie only know what they’re doing with her song now” is currently the top YouTube comment underneath “Coming Up the Mountain,” the gospel record by Calypso Rose, a Trinidad and Tobago-born calypsonian hugely famous in the Caribbean. Because for the last few weeks, nearly every Trinidadian zess artist has been getting real freaked-out over Bing Bang Studioz and Studio Impact’s rose riddim, which flips the spiritual song from her album Jesus Is My Rock into a nasty slice of pulsating dancehall. I have a few favorite contenders—like Trinidad Killa’s BET: Uncut-ready “Peace” and Yung Bredda’s incredibly horny “Touch It”—but I’d take Lady Lava’s “Matrix” over them all. Mostly because she’s the funniest lyricist of the bunch, telling little conversational stories in her husky rap-sing about her sexual powers: “And then he lean in my pussy like the Matrix,” goes the hook. She makes it sound like the dudes that get to take her home leave feeling like they’ve just met God. Maybe it’s not that far off from the original after all?
