Kristen, I’m not sure about the best way to say this, but, uh, you might want to have a conversation with your primary care physician to talk about this plan to drive all across the country, only peeing when you stop for gas. But also, Prius. It’s a Prius. The car you want is a Prius, and I don’t know why you’d consider buying anything else. But since you asked, I’ve channeled your letter’s energy into my laptop, communed with the car gods, and they blessed me with an answer so good, I almost want to try it myself. You’re headed to Cedar Falls, Iowa, where you will buy this 2013 Volkswagen Beetle TDI Convertible with a manual transmission, heated seats, and 99,729 miles on it, and then you’re going to road trip it home and fall in love.
It’s a convertible with an engine that should last a long time, offers plenty of comfort, gets 31 mpg combined, and can go 450 miles between fill ups. At 75 mph, that’s six hours or roughly one abridged audiobook of sweet, uninterrupted driving. Is diesel expensive right now and probably staying expensive for a while? Sure, but that’s where part 2 comes in. At $13,000, it’s already safely within your budget, but what idiot is buying a 13-year-old diesel, convertible, manual passenger car at a time like this? No one wants this car, so you’re going to low-ball them. Go criminally low. I want you to walk away from that negotiation questioning whether or not you’re still a good person after what you just did to them.
I don’t know if you can actually get it for $5,000, but that’s what I’m manifesting for you. If the dealer isn’t as desperate to get rid of a 13-year-old diesel, convertible, manual passenger car, with only two doors, no less, there’s not much you can do. But with $5 diesel and basically everything else about that Beetle designed to scare American buyers away, I’m choosing to believe you can get a discount so good, you won’t mind spending whatever it costs to fill it up.
