The Freedom 250 Grand Prix, an ill-advised Indycar race around a Washington DC street circuit, is just over a month away. The race has already seen its share of mind-bogglingly bad promotion, but now we’re getting some actual nitty-gritty details about the race — details that also seem mind-bogglingly bad in their own right. For example: Security at the Freedom 250 GP won’t allow attendees to bring in alcohol, food, chairs, coolers, noisemakers, or spray-on sunscreen. What’s even the point of going to a race without all that?
Those rules come from the Freedom 250 GP’s Gate Regulations page, which lists all the things that you better not bring with you. The list is far longer than at other IndyCar races like the Indy 500 — apparently Indianapolis Motor Speedway doesn’t bother to ban purses, video cameras, flags, or the Flipper Zero. It’s like they don’t even care about safety and security!
A hilarious list
Imagine, if you will, actually attending the Freedom 250 Grand Prix. You show up with your clear bag, like a schoolkid, and your disposable bottle of water — you had to leave your metal Owala at home. You can’t drink, can’t smoke, can’t sit, and can’t apply aerosol sunscreen or bug spray. “Abusive, foul or disruptive language” is also a no-no, so you just have to stand there baking in the sun quietly like a good little boy (you’re unlikely to get a seat, as “A limited number of grandstands and viewing platforms will be available throughout both GA ticketed areas, on a first-come, first-served basis”). Just don’t do that in a novelty tee shirt, as “Obscene or indecent clothing” is also out, and don’t you dare try to capture any video of the race you’re watching. Video cameras are outright banned, and so is “the use of video capable devices.” On a strict read, that includes filming on your phone.
What’s the appeal of going to this race if you can’t kick back with a Miller High Life and shout obscenities when your favorite driver is passed by a rival? It’s not even like these regulations come from security concerns with the event location — both ticketed areas are well away from the Capitol or White House, where security is understandably tighter. This just seems like yet another instance of a poorly run event centered around the country’s 250th anniversary.
