I’m a lousy sleeper and have often wished for some sort of adult sleep-training program. I would 100% cry it out for a week if you told me I’d be able to reliably, consistently sleep after that. But since I’m now in a big-girl bed, I’m stuck with magnesium powder, amber lightbulbs, breathing exercises, and every other maybe-science-maybe-total-baloney sleep trick. I’ve tried every one I’ve heard — be it from actual doctors or the side-columns of magazines at the nail salon. Triangle breathing? Why not! Cognitive shuffling? I’m in.
Finally, though, I figured out a trick for falling asleep that has a near-perfect success rate. It took me years to recognize it as such, because, well, no one ever recommended it to me as a sleep tip. It’s just something I have to do once a day: mentally pick out my clothes. That’s it. That’s the trick. I shut my eyes, consider the weather forecast for the next day, then visualize my closet and put together an outfit. I almost never make it past one or two items of clothing. I’m out in minutes, every time.
And let’s be clear: I don’t work in an office, and my typical weekday social interaction consists of quick, frazzled conversations at school pickup, while juggling whatever still-wet art project my six-year-old has foisted upon me before racing down the sidewalk. I am not in a glamorous stage of life, and my clothes reflect that. The outfits I’m assembling in my head at night are basically just jeans or leggings, plus something on top. But as we all know, even the simplest outfits require a little calculation: If I wear that white T-shirt, I need that light-beige bra — not the pokey one, the good one. Is it clean? Yeah, clean enough. Oh, and a sweatshirt for my co-working space, because it’s summer now, so the A.C. is cranked up and — and I’m out. Boom.
My theory is that it works because, 1. Unlike other tricks for nodding off, this one isn’t about trying to fall asleep (trying to fall asleep, as we all know, only makes it harder). And though I now know it does knock me out, that’s never the goal. Deciding what to wear is just a task I have to do — I’m not faking myself by imagining I’m on a boat or something (guided meditation — that’s another one I’ve tried). And 2. It requires just the right amount of mental engagement: I have to think, but not too hard. Not hard enough to generate stress. It’s just enough to take my mind off the worry of when/if/how I’ll fall asleep.
Does science back up my theory? No. Will this trick work for everyone? Probably not — especially if you have a capsule wardrobe, or all your bras are “good.” But if you, like me, are sick of being lectured about sleep hygiene and ambient room temperature, and just want to pass out already — might I suggest simply closing your eyes and picking out your clothes? Worst case scenario, you’ll stay awake, but at least you’ll know what you’re wearing tomorrow.
Do you have any weird-but-it-works tricks for falling asleep? Or how about falling back to sleep?
P.S. Anton’s bedtime ritual, and an anxiety trick for nighttime.
