These Are The Cars Our Readers Want To Erase From History

There are things that we all wish could be deleted from existence. Things that, with the snap of a finger, would disappear for good, never to bother us again. For most people, those things aren’t cars, but because we’re little freak weirdos, there are some cars out there that we’d certainly like to erase from existence without a second thought. That idea is what led me to the question I asked you all last week.

I wanted to know what car you’d erase from history in a “Yesterday”-style scenario. (Side note: did anyone else watch that movie? No? Just me? Got it.) It’s a big question, I know, but I thought Jalopnik’s readers would be up to the task, and I’ll tell you guys what, you didn’t let me down. I got some really good answers here with some fairly thoughtful reasoning as to why these cars should be erased. Most of you even followed my “no butterfly effect” rule, which I appreciate. Of course, a lot of you made horrible, terrible choices, because there are some very good cars on this list, but I’m here simply to be a vessel for you all.

That’s enough out of me, though. How about you head on down below and check out what cars your fellow Jalops would permanently erase from history? Did your own car make the list? If it did, I’ve got bad news, because now you’ve gotta go buy a new one.

G Wagon. A bedazzled box of wealth signaling. It has real offroad chops that almost never get used except maybe by the 4th owner.

Submitted by: Weirdisgood

Gigantic, lifted diesel brodozers with 40 inch wheels that have never seen an unpaved road, and despise sharing the road with commuters. So basically modern pickups with enormous grilles and no visibility sold to drivers that think it’s clever to belch soot.

Submitted by: tallestdwarf

The PT Cruiser, especially the convertible version. Every time I see one, I have a visceral reaction against it.

Submitted by: Todd

the last-gen Lincoln Continental. Instead of making the supposed Ford flagship from a dedicated (or even recycled) RWD body-on-frame chassis like the last Town Car, they basically put it on a glorified Fusion platform and gave it a few expensive features–and put a huge price tag on it. Then, when nobody fell for the ruse of a a midsized sedan posing as an ultraluxury sedan, Ford decided nobody wanted sedans of any type anymore, and now Lincoln only sells SUVs.

Submitted by: Joe Stricker

I can’t stand the 6th gen Chevy Monte Carlo. Not good looking, not sporty, way less practical than the basically identical Impala. Gone.

Submitted by: Crucial Taunt

The first Hummer that made it’s way to public roads. The military can have them as I’m sure they serve their purpose, but I can’t help but think that Hummers making their way to the street paved the way for many of the ludicrously large vehicles on our roads today.

Perhaps big trucks and suvs were inevitable, but the fetishizing of the Hummer (hehe) definitely didn’t help things.

Submitted by: SantaCruzin

Nobody’s mentioned the Dodge Caliber. The Neon wasn’t perfect, but this wasn’t the answer.

Honorable mention, that last-gen Ford Thunderbird. 

Submitted by: DungBeetle62

The Delorian is in a unique position here. Given the right set of circumstances, it could delete itself from history.

Submitted by: Wreched_Genius

Gonna go back in time and say the H2. It was the embodiment of everything wrong with GM at a time when nothing was right. Ugly, oversized, chugged gas like it was beer at a Packers tailgate, and ushered in an age of 2000’s era douchebags. It made Jeep Wrangler owners seem sane and reasonable in comparison.

Submitted by: Alf Enthusiast

The 1996 Ford Taurus Redesign. Rolling out that bubble monstrosity over the previous generation was a total killer to the American family sedan and gave the crown to the Camry. Would rather the Taurus just die with the 1995 model and dignity and not continue on to what it became here.

Submitted by: Matt G.

I know, I know, I know–the LOWEST hanging fruit: Cybertruck. Tesla, if not controlled by a lunatic, could have genuinely made a useful truck that would have eaten the Rivian R1T and Ford Lightning’s lunch. Instead, it was a nonsensical drug-induced fever dream amounting to a dumpster on 4 wheels driven almost exclusively by people who comfortably use the term “own the libs” on the regular.

Submitted by: RmB