Picture it; you met a Tinder date at a restaurant and it went well enough that you want to take things to the next level. You suggest extending the night by taking a trip to paradise, aka Dairy Queen, but all they see when they hop into your passenger seat is a hazy windshield. You were waiting to expose your poor cleanliness habits until the second date, but the inside of your car windows just did that for you.
That nasty film on your windshield can be caused by an array of things including off-gassing of interior materials, some types of air fresheners, smoking or vaping inside the vehicle, or even just breathing, coughing, and sneezing in your car over the span of months and years. Regardless of the cause, it’s a pretty simple problem to address – all it takes is a good clean microfiber cloth and the right cleaning solution. Read this before your next Tinder date to keep your shameful cleaning habits a secret until you’ve already made your first impressions.
My family refers to this frustrating haze as car phlegm. If you washed your car but the windshield still looks dirty, it’s probably just car phlegm that’s built up on the inside of your windows.
Here’s all you need to rid your vehicle of this yucky haze:
- A couple of brand new or freshly washed microfiber cloths
- A non-ammonia based glass cleaner, or you can safely use a 1:1 mixture of rubbing alcohol and water, or the same ratio of vinegar and water
- Optional: A window cleaning wand to help clean the far corners of your windows if you aren’t blessed with gangly arms like me
Now it’s time to wipe, and there’s no need to wipe front-to-back here. If you’re dealing with extra phlegmy windows, wipe the inside of your windshield with a dry microfiber cloth as the first step. If the phlegm isn’t too bad, you can go straight to spraying the clean microfiber with your non-ammonia-based cleaning solution and start wiping the film away. It can be awkward to reach the base of the windshield or the far corners, but there are some window cleaning wands with microfiber heads that can extend your reach if this is a limiting factor for you. It may be necessary to use multiple clean microfibers if you notice the grime is just getting spread around instead of going away.
And voila! You can see clearly now the phlegm is gone and you can see all obstacles in your way. Some resources suggest using magic erasers to clean your windows, but magic erasers are made of a melamine foam that is inherently abrasive and will ruin an aftermarket tint job. Ammonia-based cleaners can also damage glass and will definitely damage aftermarket tint, so err on the side of caution and avoid these two tools. Car phlegm builds up over time so this is not a one-time fix. Sorry to all the folks with sensory issues who cringe at the feeling of microfiber on your skin, but you will have to clean the inside of your windshield somewhat regularly to prevent the haze from returning, especially if you or any of your passengers are smokers of vapers.
