One of my favorite things is when Cup of Jo readers give pep talks in the comment section. For example, a reader shares that she’s expecting her first baby; another gives an update on dahlias blooming in her garden — and everyone jumps in to cheer. Today, we’re sharing eight comments on life changes, big and small…
On a bolstering haircut:
“I was stuck in the wrong job, depressed and anxious. When I finally got the courage to hand in my notice, I instantly felt relieved — but in limbo. I took myself to a hairdresser who understood, and within an hour, my nondescript hair had been transformed into a stunning bob. I walked out feeling bolstered. The haircut was a signal to myself, and everyone around me, that change was coming, and it was a good thing.” — Annie
On welcoming a baby:
“At 39, I started on the path to become ‘a single mom by choice.’ I’d always wanted children, the partner stuff hadn’t worked out, and I was ready. I did seven rounds of IUI with donor sperm — all failed. I changed jobs for the IVF coverage, and had just started my first cycle when I met someone. He was very supportive, and we dated for a year while I went through three more cycles with donor sperm. All three failed, and I had enough insurance coverage for ONE more, so we decided to try with his sperm. We’re expecting our daughter in December.” — Erin G.
On gaining strength:
“At 45, I found myself feeling utterly worn out by life and family issues. I felt weak in every way, so one day I decided to do push-ups. The first day, I managed two. Every few days, I’d try to add one more. They were HARD, but I kept going. I’d split them up throughout my day (you can do push-ups just about anywhere!), and whenever I felt panicky, I’d drop and do a few. It helped! Tremendously! A year later, I was doing 100 a day. It was astonishing. Push-ups are now as much a part of my life as eating breakfast and brushing my teeth. I’m so proud of myself.” — Sasha L.
On empty-nesting:
“I always worried about having an empty nest. But now that our kids are in college, my husband and I have found great joy in our time together. Now, instead of after-school activities and chores, we have date nights almost every evening! We watch the sunset, do the Wordle, try new restaurants. My daughter recently laughed, ‘You guys are so cute now.’ When the kids are home for breaks, it’s heartwarming and busy again — and when it’s time to go back to school, everyone’s ready! Enjoy your time with your kids, but know there are exciting new chapters ahead, too.” — Jeanne
On solo joys:
“After a big break-up, I listened to the podcast Just Break Up, which was cathartic. I felt less alone, realizing how many others have been heartbroken and come out the other side. Now, I’m happily single. I love being able to do exactly what I want, when I want. There’s no one to get toast crumbs in the butter, or drip jam on the countertops. I don’t have to compromise or reach an agreement with anyone but myself. It’s bliss. If I meet someone that I want to include in my life, well, lucky them.” — R.S.
On finding new hobbies:
“I recently joined a weekly pick-up basketball game with a group of women at my local rec center. Some used to play on college teams and are very good. I am not one of those women. I am not good at all. But everyone is so kind: Rules are explained, fouls overlooked, baskets I actually make are cheered. There is something so great about running around for an hour, playing a game with a bunch of cool people. I get sweaty and tired like a little kid; I’ve sprained my finger and pulled every muscle in my body, but I smile the entire time.” — Seraphim
On embracing grays:
“I’m 53, and I’ve spent the past year growing out my grays. I decided to stop dyeing them when I realized it wasn’t sustainable, money-wise or time-wise. I was apprehensive about looking old to my daughter, my husband, my students, and myself. But it’s been such a liberation that I want to shout it from the rooftops! The other week, my husband stopped me to say, ‘You make those grays look good.’” — Anon
On opening doors:
“When my husband came out as gay, it felt like an avalanche. Now I see it as the necessary destruction of a good life, in pursuit of a great one. The static in the back of my head, which I’d been trying to ignore for so long, finally went quiet. I fell in love with an amazing woman. It’s a love that doesn’t require me to be different. It’s expansive, easy, humbling, and truer than anything I’ve ever experienced. Navigating all this was overwhelming, but not impossible. I share this for anyone who needs to know that it’s not too late. You’re not too old. I had a good life where I thought my choices had been made. But it turns out, you can still choose. You can walk through a door you thought was closed to you, and find something beautiful on the other side.” — Hannah
How has your life changed lately, in big or small ways? We’d love to know.
P.S. Cup of Jo readers share their favorite photos, and three women on changing their careers (gift link).
(Photo by Evgenij Yulkin/Stocksy.)
