I don’t know if you know this, but Jalopnik is officially a real website. We may not have a Wikipedia page after more than 20 years on the internet, but we do have a Jeep commercial starring comedian Iliza Shlesinger, who just declared to the entire world that we’re a real website. Why? Well, the way the commercial tells it, we reviewed the Jeep Grand Wagoneer and declared it the best car to have sex in. We’re used to being left out any time someone lists old Gawker or G/O Media properties, so it’s been nice to be remembered for once.
That said, we didn’t technically declare the Grand Wagoneer the best car to have sex in. Our former colleague Lawrence Hodge said the Grand Wagoneer would probably be his pick in a Question Of The Day post, but as with all QOTDs, that was just supposed to be a jumping-off point for you, our beloved readers, to answer. If you check out the Answer Of The Day, the Grand Wagoneer didn’t make the list (although the Jeep XJ did).
Lawrence did review the Grand Wagoneer about six months before he wrote that QOTD, so I guess, technically, he did review it and then later say it would be his pick to be the best car to have sex in. But that’s still a bit of a stretch there, ad agency that took Iliza away from her James Beard Award-winning husband’s (presumably) delicious cooking to tell people Jalopnik is a real website that officially declared the Grand Wagoneer the best car to have sex in.
This time, let’s make it official
Now, I’m not going to say the Grand Wagoneer is a bad car to have sex in, as I’ve never had sex in a Grand Wagoneer and couldn’t tell you. In fact, you may not know this, but Jalopnik has an official policy against having sex in press cars. You wouldn’t think you’d need a rule like that for a bunch of way-too-online car nerds, but you’re forgetting we’re officially the most attractive car staff on the internet (source: internal Jalopnik poll, 20 years running).
Even if I’d secretly had sex in a press car, though, this isn’t about my preferences. I don’t want to sway the commenters and end up causing someone to make another commercial based on a QOTD. I want to know what cars you think are the best for having sex in. Is it the Jeep Grand Wagoneer? Is it the Miata? Is it the Volkswagen Thing? This is your chance to contribute to the official Jalopnik list of the best cars to have sex in, so be sure to include your reasoning, too.
If this is going to be an official list, we have to make sure we’re thorough and take our time. Wouldn’t want to finish your comment too fast. After all, the entire internet with everyone watching, apparently.
