Poverty buttons: those little blank spaces on the steering wheel and infotainment system where the features for high-trimmed vehicles would be available, if a broke sad sack like you had any features. They don’t need to be reminders of your failures however, they can be a window into your imagination.
In a recent social media exchange our old buddy Stef Schrader suggested a button that dispenses cheese. My nicotine addicted friend told me she longs for a button that would just pop out a cigarette (she still hasn’t jump on the vape revolution,) me? I’m a simple girl. I’d like a button that releases a swarm of those light up drones that make shapes in the sky. Mine would create a middle finger above my car for all offending drivers to see, or a friendly wave to people who understand zipper merging.
Maybe you fancy yourself a get away driver, and need a button for dispensing oil or caltrops in the way of your pursuers. Maybe you drive hungry and would give anything for a button that pops out a nutri-grain bar. Or maybe you’re a basic bitch and want your car to fly at the push of a button. Whatever your druthers, you can have them in the comments.
