One thing about me is, I do be loving a good heist. An art heist is my favorite, but a jewel heist? That hits just as hard. Over the weekend, some scamps said “art heist and jewelry heist are just two great tastes that taste great together” and stole the French Crown Jewels from the Louvre in Paris.
These guys hit arguably the most famous art gallery on Earth, in broad daylight, and made off with a king’s ransom of jewels previously owned by Napoleonic era royalty, according to CNN:
A detailed list of the stolen items released by the culture ministry revealed a single earring from the sapphire parure of Queen Marie-Amélie and Queen Hortense, an emerald necklace and pair of emerald earrings from the parure of Empress Marie-Louise, the “reliquary brooch,” and the tiara and large corsage bow brooch of Empress Eugénie were stolen in the heist.
One item the thieves accidentally dropped contained 1,354 diamonds and 56 emeralds. Jeeze. Seems like they have enough riches, so why not take a few? Part of the heist included a truck with a hoist and a ladder to access the Apollo Gallery on the second floor of the museum. Which got me wondering, what’s your go-to heist assist vehicle?
My pick
Before this Louvre heist, my favorite big heist was the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum theft, but I’ve always felt terrible about the art that went missing. It was a private collection made public by a wealthy woman who loved art and wanted to share it with the world. And it’s not like the thieves can melt down Rembrandt’s only seascape and resell it for profit. In all likelihood, that art is gone forever. The crown jewels lifted from the Louvre, however, come from France, a place notorious for not giving too many cares about royalty. I think they’ll emotionally recover from losing such “sentimental” (French Interior Minister Laurent Nuñez’s words, not mine) pieces. I’d exchange a few dozen diamonds for a great story anyway
A good getaway driver can turn any car in a heist car, but for my money? It needs to be a sleeper vehicle. One that can blend into the background of daily traffic while zipping to its safe spot. In that vein, it has to be a Chevy SS. No one is going to think a car that looks like a college kid’s first ride is full of priceless jewels, and if anyone figures it out then you just need to apply all 6.2-liters of your LS3 V8 to the pavement and, problem solved.
It doesn’t need to be a getaway car, however. Maybe you pick up a JDM firetruck for its robotic ladder and small, maneuverable size. Maybe you pick a Mini to race through Turin. Maybe you want a inconspicuous Transit van for ease of storage of loot. What car do you think is best for getting away from it all (like police, museum curators, etc.)?
