These Are Your Most Horrifyingly Botched Parking Jobs

The tricky part of driving really seems to be the going part. Stopping is pretty straight forward, and standing still with the engine off? Child’s play, even. But no, some of you have biffed things hard while just pulling into a parking spot. That spot is your car’s home, it wants to go there, and yet still, it can be a nightmare getting your car properly parked. 

I asked you about your worst experiences trying to get a car into or out of parking spaces — and shared my own horror story — and you delivered. Scroll through to see your best answers.

So I’m an absolute LEGEND at parallel parking: 1st time perfect, every time. But for the life of me I cannot just simply back up into a parking spot square and even. It’s confounding to me. So my parking fail is anytime I think it might be a good idea to back into a spot.

And…

I share this exact fail! I can effortlessly parallel park, either side of the street, LH drive or RH drive car. But it always takes me multiple attempts to back my van into my driveway straight…

From WeryPert1 and rap chat 

Backing my wife’s fusion into a rather narrow garage once, I was so focused on the passenger side mirror and the clearance I had there I did not realize I didn’t have the clearance on the driver’s side until I heard the crunch. Heated, auto-dipping, LED turn signal mirrors are nice until you’re paying to replace one out of pocket.

From Alphonze Mephesto

In the late 90’s I went to a halloween party with a lot of people I didn’t know. Arrived at the house in my clapped 1987 Mustang 4 cylinder with a bondoed and primed rear quarter from a previous accident.

Parked at the end of the street on a slight hill. Got out, locked the car and started walking toward the house. Heard a whirring sound and turned around to discover that my car had popped out of gear (no emergency brake pull on my part) and was hastily rolling down the hill. Thought for a second that I could stop it somehow but thought better of it pretty quickly. Got to watch it roll down the hill and smash into a car parked in the driveway of the house I was going to. Super fun intro…

From Muttons

One of my co-workers owned a 2012 Mustang convertible with a 5-speed manual that she was looking to sell. I told her I was interested so she handed me the keys and let me go for a test drive, unsupervised.

I jumped in the car, started it, put the top down and then tried to back out of the parking space, but i couldn’t get the car to go into reverse. After about a minute of fiddling with the gear shift, my co-worker yelled “You have to push down to get into reverse!” This in front of three other co-workers who were headed for lunch.

Doh!

In then end, my co-worker decided to hold onto the Mustang another few years after getting sticker shock upon seeing the price of a new Camaro.

From Earthbound Misfit I

Not me, but a co-worker. On a trip north to Toronto for work. Pulled into the local beer store. Co-worker proceeded to park outside of the parking spot lines and completely blocking one of the driveways. He was stone sober at the time. Just lucky a cop didn’t show up.

From Split55

Leaving early for work in the morning. My wife also had to leave early, so my mom had come over earlier than normal to watch the little one. Not used to having a car parked in the driveway and in my half asleep state, I backed right into it. Minimal damaged but I sure felt stupid. Especially considering my car had a back-up camera. Of course the backup sensors (which were usually overbearing) didn’t beep until I hit.

From Deke

When I was a teenager I was pulling in the garage and totaled my mom’s freezer… I’ve been pretty good around appliances ever since 😉

From Jimboy Junio

My VERY FIRST TIME driving and parking in public in the United States saw me getting towed and fined. Apparently I parked in a time-sensitive spot that becomes a bus stop after 5:00 p.m., and I didn’t notice the tiny sign (on top of like ten other little parking signs) that said so.

I parked my sister’s minivan for like 8 minutes, only to come back to a now active bus stop with no Sedona to be found. I was fresh off the plane, still hadn’t visited any monuments or attractions, but had to become familiar with D.C.’s parking violation procedures on the spot. Luckily, they just towed it around the block, and put the ticket under the wiper.

From BannedFrmDrivin

Not my parking job, but I was in the parked car. I was about 8 or so and my mom was taking me to grandma’s before she went to work. Got in the car, started up and realized she had forgotten something. Went in to get it. I was sitting there listening to music (I think Kansas on 8 track) when the car started slowly creeping forward on the slight hill we were parked on. I start screaming just as my mom comes out, sees the car moving, throws her purse in the air and takes off at a run in pursuit.

Luckily the hill wasn’t that steep and the car drifted and struck the side of a parked VW bug. Put a big dent in the VW’s door but I don’t remember the damage to our car. Mom grabs me out of the car and checks me over. VW owner comes out (he was really cool from what I remember, just glad no one was hurt).

My mom is frantically trying to figure what happened, the VW owner is looking over his car, and I look in the back seat of the VW. Trying my best to help I look in the back seat of the VW and note that, “It was a good thing those tennis rackets were on the other side of the car so they didn’t get damaged.” All the adults just stopped and looked at me.

From billTheLizard

I can parallel park a train, a 747, or a supertanker, the first time, every time. Try me. And then literally last week, I curbed the right rear aftermarket wheel of my GTI 🙁 And I’m not saying I’m actually BLAIMING Mrs. Birdlaw, but I was trying to orient her door to avoid a complex set of parking meters, power-pole support wires, and a planter. I lost focus for just 2 seconds. I guess if that’s the worst that’s happened…

From BirdLaw900