Sometimes crimes can bring a smile to your face. It’s not every day, say, an automotive CEO sneaks out of a country in a speaker case to avoid a punitive legal system or a group of thieves snatch Corvettes hot off the presses. A little crime that doesn’t hurt anybody? You can’t help cheer a little for them. We all love a Robin Hood.
It was with heist in mind I asked you earlier this week how you’d run your own heist, or at least, how you’d run from your own heist. Many of you admired the Louvre thieves approach of hopping on bog-common e-bikes and assisted-peddling away. Some went with my plan; a sleeper that can burn your eyebrows off given half a chance. Others chose anything but. Slide through and see what your fellow Jalopniks are taking to their next, last big job.
Blend in to the background
Assuming I’m in a metro area I’d steal a taxi for the one-time use. Rugged, absolutely invisible, and it wouldn’t even get flagged if you had to engage in some rude/aggressive maneuvering.
and
Way too big. You want small and agile, enough to drive sidewalks, go between barriers and of course dice through traffic. You also want ‘common’. You want to blend. Steal a small taxi cab.
From BuddyS and Frank in Philly
Learn from the pros
The thieves used T-Max scooters for the getaway and I think that was a pretty good choice. Personally I would have gone with something a little more powerful, probably a dual-sport just in case I’d need to do something a little crazy like get on the Coulee Verte or go down some backstreet pedestrian stairway. But the T-Max is probably more “stealth” and blends in very well. The thieves probably rode them out, circled the Arc de Triomphe a few times with other riders on similar scooters, then parked them next to a cafe and had a coffee and Gauloises before hopping into their second escape vehicle – some nondescript Citroen, most likely.
From Will Eatherman
We don’t forget our Goonies lessons around here, sir, because Goonies never say die!
Depends where you are. A Chevy would be the most conspicuous thing ever in France. Tight urban areas call for tiny agile cars.
Closer to a forest or difficult terrain, though? Something pursuers can’t follow. Do we forget the lesson of the Goonies that Jeep has forgotten when that lovely 1984 AMC XJ took off down wet beach sand with the 4WD trucks in a rally in precisely the way current Jeeps can’t?
From Winter Cat
Wild choice!
First of all, excellent pick! Seeing that this would be a 1 time use vehicle, I would go with a purposeful built on road/off road Mitsubishi Evo 7. I picked the Evo over the Scooby because I like Evos.
From Marcus C
The perfect crime car
Corolla GR – Its also a sleeper (many cars have the same exterior sporty bits) small enough to get in and out of any tight spaces and it goes like stink. And a cargo hold large enough to hold all the valuable art needed to fund my retirement.
From PLAN-B 77
Perfect for a French heist
1960 Autobianchi Bianchina Cabriolet Special from the Pink Panther…
From Jimboy Junio
If in doubt, drive straight through
Give me a Marauder, like Richard Hammond got to play with. If everything goes to plan, you won’t need it. However, if you can’t crack the vault, or get through a brick wall, just drive through it. If things go really south, and find yourself in a “Heat” situation with the authorities, you have a fully armored vehicle with gun ports.
From Dr.Xyster
Steal rich people stuff like a rich person
A bit if a different tack for me, but I would use a Rolls Royce Phantom EWB. A different kind of camouflage – you might stick out, but nobody would expect the knob in the car of just pulling a heist. And, with the extended wheelbase, a huge amount of room for a huge amount of stolen art. Plus, a getaway in comfort and style!
From BB
Blend in like a local
A bog standard commuter bike, or if wherever you’re heisting has rental e-bikes a modded e-bike painted to look like a standard rental ebike.
Look like a tourist, look like a regular citizen, cut through crowds and traffic in a way that draws no more attention than any other rude tourist. Easy to ditch with other bikes or chuck in a river.
Figure most places you’d want to do a heist are going to be in touristy areas so blend in and use that to your advantage.
From Buckfiddious
