Like many of you, I’ve watched “Home Alone” more times than I can count, but this year I noticed something that changed my perspective on the whole movie: the real villains aren’t the Wet Bandits or Kevin’s parents. It’s actually Mitch Murphy, the McCallister’s nosy, car dork neighbor.
Mitch doesn’t have a big role in this movie. He only appears on screen for about a minute, but his impact is felt throughout the entire film. You see, Mitch Murphy, that dick, is one of the main reasons Kevin is left home alone on Christmas. When you add in the fact he’s an annoying car nerd, he becomes one of the most evil characters in cinema history.
We’re introduced to Mitch early on in the movie when he introduces himself to those poor shuttle drivers who already have to deal with the McCallisters’ bullshit. He almost immediately starts asking the guy a bunch of inane questions about what the family is doing and where his family is going for the holidays. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then started hitting this guy with some of the most annoying car-related questions about the Dodge Ram Van Maxiwagon he was driving:
Do these vans get good gas mileage?
How fast does this thing go?
Does it have automatic transmission?
Does it have four-wheel drive?
Bro, shut the fuck up. Seriously.
Anyway, now Murphy’s actions go from bad to worse. While the McCallister family is doing their fool-proof headcount to make sure all 11 kids are accounted for, he’s sitting in the back of the van, looking through someone’s bag. He’s accidentally counted as one of the kids, and it’s the first time they don’t realize Kevin isn’t there.
Just to add insult to injury, this nosy little dick says goodbye to the McCallister can by asking them to bring him back “something French.” Shut up, dude. You live on that block too. Your family can obviously afford to go to France for Christmas as well. Sorry that you’re stuck going to Orlando.
Maybe if Mr. Murphy hadn’t been so drawn to these extremely average airport shuttle vans because of his car obsession, Kevin wouldn’t have gotten left behind for Christmas. I know he wasn’t the only reason, but he was a very important cog in the machine of things that caused Kevin to be neglected.
