Tesla recently revealed its idea of a robotaxi — a two-seater with no controls that will take you anywhere you want to go, only cost $30,000 and will go on sale in 2026. No one with a second brain cell actually believes that’s going to happen, but plenty of people are willing to believe it’s possible eventually and at a higher price point. And yet, as Adam Something points out in his latest video, it’s going to be hard to convince anyone who was paying attention that this event was anything more than a desperate attempt to boost the stock price.
There are, of course, plenty of flaws with robotaxis as a concept. Without an actual person to check, there’s no way to guarantee the taxi you order won’t show up bloodstained and full of vomit. Plus, it probably wouldn’t be hard for people to confuse the sensors suite, stop the robotaxi and rob the people inside. Plus, even Waymo’s robotaxis still screw up basic driving, and the equipment they use is far pricier and more advanced than Tesla’s camera-only system. Will a Tesla Cybercab be able to safely recover after hydroplaning? Can it even operate in light snow?
Let the very knowledgeable transit YouTuber Adam Something break down just how bad the Telsa Cybercab and Robovan are:
Even if you ignore all of that part, where were the details? Supposedly, Tesla’s been working on this for a long time, so if it was a serious event, you would expect the presentation to be full of the kinds of things that get analysts excited. You know, hard numbers. Specs. Statistics. Instead, we basically got nothing other than a few hastily thrown-together concepts that are unlikely to ever go into production without some major changes even if you assume Tesla will get there eventually, which is not a guarantee.
If this was a desperate attempt to drive up the stock price, then at first, it didn’t work. Tesla shares dropped significantly the day after the robotaxi event because it was so obviously bullshit that even the credulous rubes on Wall Street noticed. And yet, if you check today, Tesla’s stock is currently sitting at a year-to-date high. Wonderful.
That’s also before you get to the problem inherent to all robotaxis, which is that they don’t actually solve any problems at scale. You, an individual, may personally benefit from being able to use a robotaxi if you live in a wealthy suburb with intentionally low density and perfectly maintained streets. They’ll still get stuck in traffic, though, because traffic is cars. Cars are traffic. Taking the driver out of that equation doesn’t do anything to reduce traffic, and with less of an incentive to combine trips, they could actually make traffic worse.
Then again, if you want to actually do something to reduce traffic, that would require investing in public transportation just like every other developed country around the world, which everyone in America knows is Communism and therefore a threat to our very existence. Just don’t ask the haters to explain why governments building public roads as a service is good but building public transportation as a service is bad. They don’t usually like those kinds of questions.
