Believe it or not, Kristi Noem is not a character that “South Park” created to terrify you. She is, in fact, a real person who really runs the Department of Homeland Security, a role inexplicably threatening to overshadow the fact that she really did shoot her own dog. But while most of us probably haven’t shot a puppy, Noem recently ran into an issue we can definitely all relate to: while she initially requested $50 million for a new jet, when she started looking at options, she realized she didn’t really like anything in that price range. Her solution? Simply spend $200 million on two jets instead, the New York Times reports.
Really, when you think about it, that’s quite reasonable. As we all know, you can’t get a good private jet for a mere $50 million these days. And even if you could, it would probably be used and gross. Do you really expect the Secretary of Homeland Security to fly around in an icky used jet? That would just be so embarrassing. Forget Noem looking poor: the entire U.S. would look poor. So clearly, that wasn’t an option. And what was she supposed to do if the first plane got dirty? Visit the latest ghost prison run by a dictator in a dirty jet? No. Of course, she needs a second plane. If anything, $200 million is a bargain.
Democrats hate that new plane smell
The purchase order is reportedly for two Gulfstream G700 jets, not the Gulfstream V the Coast Guard had originally planned to buy back when it was only going to be spending $50 million. And while the Times reported plans to spend a little more than $172 million to obtain those G700s, according to the Washington Post, the total estimated cost is actually more like $200 million once you include “specialized paint” and “cabin enhancements.”
Where the money is coming from to buy these jets, exactly, no one can say. The plane-hating Democrats in Congress apparently think this mystery is a “problem” or something: two representatives, Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut and Lauren Underwood of Illinois, have since submitted a letter demanding that Noem “clarify the funding source” for her new toys. As they put it in the letter:
In addition to raising serious questions about your ability to effectively lead an agency whose procurement strategies appear to vary on a whim, the procurement of new luxury jets for your use suggests that the U.S.C.G. has been directed to prioritize your own comfort above the U.S.C.G.’s operational needs, even during a government shutdown. We are deeply concerned about your judgment, leadership priorities, and responsibility as a steward of taxpayer dollars.
Why they think Congress has any say in how money gets spent, I have no idea. Everyone knows President Trump controls what money gets spent and how. If Noem wants new jets, Trump can give her two jets. If Trump doesn’t want to spend the money Congress and other agencies have budgeted, that money doesn’t get spent. He’s the president, and everyone has to do what he says. That’s just how the presidency works now, and don’t let any of those “people who read the Constitution” tell you any differently.
