Portland Plans Naked Bike Ride To Protest Trump Siccing The Troops On Its Residents

After spending months terrorizing communities around the country with violent ICE raids and National Guard occupations, Trump has moved on to declaring war on U.S. cities that didn’t vote for him. At the top of his list is Portland, Oregon, a longtime favorite target of violent ultra-far-right actors. And while there will be plenty of more traditional protests against the president turning the troops on his own people, since this is Portland we’re talking about here, we’ll also be getting an “emergency” naked bike ride protest, Oregon Live reports.

Because nothing can be simple anymore, the original Portland World Naked Bike Ride isn’t organizing this particular nude protest. No, it’s a separate group, WorldNakedBikeRidePortland, that split off for what I can only assume were annoying leftist infighting reasons. Butt hey, if there’s a naked protest for a good cause, you sure won’t see us complaining. Plus, who doesn’t love riding a bike? I don’t know if you know this, but cycling is good, actually. 

And while the members of the National Guard don’t really have much of a choice whether to be in Portland or not, hopefully the nudity brings a little levity to the protests and encourages the Guard not to escalate, if only so they don’t have to touch anyone’s unpackaged wieners or buns. ICE, of course, probably loves the idea of attacking a bunch of cheeky cyclists, but what can you do? Nothing good comes from appeasement.

Details on where and when the protest will begin are still scarce and may not be nailed down yet. As of this week, they only said “Plans are being worked on,” although they later added, “We’re meeting with some of the organizers as soon as we can. It sounds like it’s going to be soon though.” 

Commenters were almost universally enthusiastic about the idea, although several said they weren’t sure they could do the ride completely nude, since it’s October, and the weather will probably be pretty nippy. According to the organizers, though, that isn’t a problem. “It’s always wear what you’re comfortable with. No need for anyone to be fully or even partially naked,” they told one commenter. There don’t appear to be any rules requiring you to live in Portland to participate, either, so if you’re nearby, why not grab your bike and head down to the city to show your support?

While the original Portland World Naked Bike Ride isn’t officially involved with organizing this particular ride, it offered its support, saying, “As a longstanding protest, we believe strongly in the power of people, and love that Portlanders use bikes (and sometimes their bodies) to stand up for justice and community.” In the same post, they also offered a few suggestions for those who choose to participate — “A few tips to stay safe:- BUDDY. UP.- Wear a helmet and close-toed shoes (always)- Bring bike lights!- Know your rights- Document wisely.” 

Heck, even if you aren’t participating in a naked bike ride to protest a military invasion of your city, that’s just good advice for anyone riding a bike. And if you do happen to participate in the protest, be sure to let us know how it goes.