North Korea occasionally needs to remind the rest of the world about its two standing threats to peace. First, Kim Jong Un’s hermetic dictatorship continues to maintain a massive amount of old-school firepower on its side of the 38th parallel, poised to obliterate the South Korean capital of Seoul. Second, North Korea demonstrates again and again that its military is reliably incompetent.
The latest example was the botched attempt to launch a “modern” guided-missile destroyer, which capsized in May when the North Korean navy sent it sliding off its ramp sideways, a very risky move according to nautical experts. It now appears that the North Koreans have righted the vessel, the second in its efforts to create a “blue water” navy, but they employed a weird technique: a whole bunch of great big balloons.
The New York Times printed the satellite imagery that shows the balloons in action. Analysts have commented that this is unorthodox, but that it appears to have worked. In this non-bizarro realms of the west, capsized ships are righted using cranes and barges. The North Koreans evidently used the muscle power of many of Dear Leader’s minions, plus the balloons. And they love their balloons!
What exactly is North Korea up to?
As the Times noted, the destroyer is in the new Choe Hyuan class and, along with its successfully launched sibling, is designed to give North Korea the capability to extend its naval reach beyond the “brown waters” of its coasts. Combined with the country’s already alarming nuclear missile forces, its newfound role as a provider of troops for Russia’s Ukraine meat grinder and materiel for Putin’s war machine, and its ongoing threat to South Korea, the new ship is basically about troublemaking.
The trouble is meant to keep western military planners up at night. In an actual conflict, both of Kim Jong Un’s destroyers would be immediately sunk: they are 5,000-ton sitting ducks. But they could complicate matters if the North Korean army commenced an offensive on its southern neighbors, or if North Korean used its missile forces to threaten a U.S. ally, such as Japan. Plus, it seems that the damaged destroyer’s partner can actually shoot missiles, so the potential for mayhem is something the U.S. Pacific Fleet has to include in its calculus.
OK, sure, scary. BUT! Remember that North Korea just temporarily sank its fancy new warship all by itself before it ever left port, to please the extremely strange man who rules the country.
Haze gray and underway
North Korea has a huge number of small ships and pocket submarines that are intended to prevent adversaries from getting in close to shore and interfering with land-based actions. Getting out into the open ocean is another ball game, however. Kim Jong Un wants ships that can harass U.S. aircraft carriers, but as with everything else, he wants that harassment to be theoretical.
The U.S. Navy, by contrast, is very “haze gray and underway,” with a fleet that oversees the Pacific by operating constantly (the “haze gray” is the paint that the Navy uses). It can afford to lose a few million dollars in aircraft while dodging Houthi missiles.
North Korea, of course, can’t afford to lose either of its top-dog naval threats. So apart from a few show sailings and ceremonial missile drills, don’t expect to see either destroyer exposing itself to the vast salty sea on a regular basis. On the other hand, don’t forget that the country managed to build these things and – all joking about the balloons aside – recovered from the launch debacle of number two.
Kim Jong Un was embarrassed by the incident. But he just keeps making trouble, now with naval assets that weren’t even a factor a few years ago. Reliable incompetence is the only break that western military planners are getting at this point.
