Are you an aspiring Bond villain with an obscene amount of money that’s only exceeded by your terrible taste? Do you also happen to have an Arctic base that needs protecting? Are you tired of your cut-throat band of international mercenaries riding around on regular, old Ski-Doos? Well, if you answered, “Yes,” to all three of those questions, then boy, do I have the snowmobile for you. Meet the Mansory Black Lizard. Is it basically just a Ski-Doo that Mansory slapped a bunch of lime green and carbon-fiber pieces on before selling it at an absurdly inflated price? I do believe so, but when you’re an aspiring Bond villain, that’s usually a pro, not a con.
I first learned about the Mansory Black Lizard when I made the rare mistake of opening Instagram and saw the post embedded below, which includes a caption that promises “205 powerful HP, countless body parts made of carbon and a special, water-resistant leather seat cover,” and claims, “[e]xclusive accents in the special colour lime green, complement the elegant appearance of the Black Lizard.” Throw in the line, “MANSORY Black Lizard, on land and on water… and now also on snow: MANSORY speeds you up everywhere,” as well as a final line that says, “Much more to come…,” and you get the impression the Black Lizard is a brand-new addition to Mansory’s lineup of horrors.
Mansory Black Lizard
Turns out, though, that while the Instagram post is only a day old, RideApart actually wrote about the Black Lizard all the way back in December 2024, where you’ll learn it appears to be based on the Ski-Doo Summit. That also means it’s existed for more than a year, and Mansory still hasn’t given up on building them yet. How I missed it, I can’t really say, but we could have also avoided this entire issue if Mansory’s PR people would just add me to their mailing list.
OK, so yes, I did call its version of the Maserati MC20 “Mansory’s Latest Murder Victim” and suggest that “anyone who actually bought a Mansory [should] be automatically locked away in the Hague, their cars burned, and their assets redistributed to those who can do a better job spending money.” And yeah, when it built a two-door Lamborghini Urus, I did say, “Even if I were the world’s first trillionaire, the only way you’d catch me behind the wheel of this abomination is if some Russian gangster had me killed and dumped my body in the front seat as one final insult after I bought Mansory specifically to shut it down and punish its executives.”
But come on, it’s not like any of those criticisms was unfair. Just like, “there’s a zero-percent chance anyone who buys one of these hasn’t killed multiple people, so it might be wise for them to go with some leather that isn’t so hard to get blood out of,” is a totally valid point to raise about the white interior on this other Mansory-modified Urus. But surely that’s no reason not to let me know about your latest creations. You never know, maybe I’ll actually like the next one.
