How Jalopnik Is Your Car?

I was just reading some of our old content from the good ol’ Univision days and man, there were a lot of Jalopniky cars on there. Like former editor, now Autopian founder David Tracy’s Project Swiss Cheese. I have a lot of fond memories of these old posts and I bet you do too. The thing we loved to highlight was just how wonderful kinda terrible cars really are. It got me thinking about what makes a car a Jalopnik car and, though the faces and bylines have changes a lot over the years, I think the standards remain the same. So how about you? How Jalopnik is your car? 

I suppose we should define what a Jalopnik-y car is. Jalopnik cars are not relegated to just brown diesel manual wagons. It’s a vehicle you love. Something you’re legitimately excited to get behind the wheel of, whether that excitement is the “oh yeah, my perfectly balanced engine is purring like a kitten” kind or the “Gee I hope it’ll start up this time” kind. It’s a little bit of a shitbox, a little bit of a project, but it’s always an experience to spend time with your Jalopnik machine. It can be anything from your Gambler 500 entry to your first-gen Dodge Viper that you wipe down with a baby’s diaper once a week. It just has to get your cylinders firing. 

My own car is very Jalopnik — I’m still rocking that 2015 Volkswagen Sportwagen TDI. It’s the car I bought to drive myself to cancer appointments (and then was quickly told I was not allowed to drive myself to). It was also part of one of the biggest automotive scandals I ever covered. Is it a manual? No. I bought this thing the day after the stop-sale ended and there weren’t any manual wagons in the state. Is it brown? Again, that’s a negative. But in a world of white, silver and black cars, my long-roof Fiesta Red VW is easy to pick out in any parking lot. I love my little cheater diesel. It’s now absolutely covered in One Hell Of A Town! stickers as well, which only ups her Jalopniky-ness. 

For today’s question I want to know how Jalopnik you think your car is. Let me know in the comments below and I’ll collect the best answers in a few days.