Here Are The Automotive TED Talks You Want To Present

If there’s one thing I know about car enthusiasts it’s that we just can’t ever shut up about cars. We have spent our entire lives reading books and articles, watching Top Gear and various YouTube channels, taking classes, wrenching and bench racing, and we have got to prove to other enthusiasts that we know more about cars than they do. OK, maybe that’s just me. I could stand in front of an audience of hundreds with a microphone and I would almost certainly run out of audience members before I ran out of automotive-related topics to talk about. It seems that the readers of Jalopnik are also jam packed full of knowledge and are willing to impart some of that information to the gathered masses. 

Earlier this week we asked you all to give us your wildest potential automotive-related TED Talk topics, and you did not disappoint. There are some pretty great topics in that thread, and it seems like many of you could talk for an hour or more if we let you. I put the limit at ten minutes, but this is obviously a theoretical exercise and nobody is stopping you from recording your 30 or 90 minute TED Talks and posting them online for all to see. If you do, make sure you send me the link, I want to see it. 

Transportation of Hazardous Materials – I taught an 80 hour course (4 college credits) for the last two years of my career. Just ten minutes on everything you want to know about placards on the sides of vehicles, what the numbers mean (I.e. 1203 – gasoline), along with grisly tales and photos of failures, I can keep you awake.

Oh, and the use of turn signals.

Suggested by steveone

The life wrecking results of DUIs, as a former tow truck driver I had many opportunities the clean up afterwards, the title of my mini TED talk: “Is that an eyeball on the asphalt?”

Suggested by towman

I got a few. How Dodge shaped Auburn Hills Michigan. 1970s -80s JDM motorcycles were the most innovative motorcycles ever an even influenced Harley Davidsons Stillborn Nova Line

Suggested by Scott The Stagehand

How to own and drive a classic for less than the total ownership cost of a new car. (A graph-heavy presentation with a few sexy pics of girls posing by Porsches)

Suggested by 007 Guest

I could talk endlessly about distracted driving, almost complete disregard for stop signs, the inability of drivers of large vehicles to stay on one side of the double yellow and the complete absence of law enforcement expect when it looks like a ticket could ruin the driver’s life.

Suggested by jiffylush

I used to periodically give a 10-minute instructional talk about how to change a flat tire. I had some funny lines in it, and it was well received. Not an earth-moving message, for sure, but then some of the TED talks I’ve seen missed that epic standard too.

Suggested by jrhmobile

I would give a TED Talk on how the US auto industry successfully lobbied to kill the street car and how that led to America being very car-dependent, outside only our largest of cities.

Suggested by Dave M. 

I could give a TED talk on the benefits of applying Project Management expertise during car restorations. Similar to a Project Manager for a construction project, I believe there is a gap in a similar role for classic and exotic car restorations.

I applied my project management background on my ’55 Bel-Air build that was being built by a talented builder and friend. I have no technical or mechanical knowledge, but I applied project management techniques with my builder to ensure the end result of the major restoration was as successful as possible. We created a prioritization list of upgrades ranked on need, importance to the overall project, and cost. I sourced vendors directly and tracked availability of parts to ensure they were properly coordinated and arrived at my buddy’s shop on time in the right order. We created a backlog of “nice to haves” that weren’t critical, and moved elements of the build up in the rank order that all of a sudden became critical. This was all during COVID so many challenges came up, but he and I working together in that fashion ended in a great result. I feel that anyone undergoing a very expensive restoration could use a Project Management service in that capacity.

Suggested by Sector7GWagen

Bicycle commuting. I could talk about prep and safety, and bike maintenance. I could talk about bike lane design and routing. I could talk about climate benefits.

I have years of experience working with our City both as an active bike-commuter and as a member of an advisory group. I worked on our City’s bike lanes pilot project, helping with routing and reducing driver-impact.

Suggested by JohnnyWasASchoolBoy

Electronically controlled, flappy paddle automatic transmissions that have enabled those of us with clutch-torn knees to enjoy driving again

Suggested by kent wynn