Fuel Efficiency Standards Are Dead, The V8 Will Live Forever

If there’s one thing Americans love, it’s V8 engines. Big, fast, loud, they’re the American definition of freedom wrapped into a gas-guzzling package. For a few years it looked like that gluttony for fuel could kill the V8, dooming Americans to immediate Stalinism and bread lines, but thankfully our beloved President Donald Trump has a solution: Ending penalties for failing to meet emissions regulations. Now, it’s open season to make the most fuel-inefficient vehicles imaginable, ensuring the V8 lives forever. 

Since 1975, the Department of Transportation has regulated automakers’ corporate average fuel economy — the CAFE standards we all know and love. The regulations have, functionally, been simple penalties that companies must pay when they fail to meet fleet-wide average fuel economy standards that have slowly ticked up over the past 50 years. But, after five decades of regulation, the latest federal budget bill eliminates the DOT’s ability to collect those punitive fines. The laws are still on the books, but there’s no longer any penalty for failing to meet them. In essence, it’s open season on fuel economy in the good ol’ U.S. of A. 

Automotive News spoke with industry analysts about the rule change, who acknowledged that automakers may well just go back to producing less and less fuel-efficient cars. We’ve already seen Stellantis get a head start, giving the Ram 1500 its Hemi back (and a “symbol of protest” badge, because these trucks are largely bought out of spite), but it’s not the only company likely to benefit here. Even Toyota, known for its rigorous adherence to fuel-efficiency standards, has a V8 prototype in the works. 

Of course, this rule change raises questions around beta cuck lib concerns like “the environment” or “breathable air” or a “habitable planet.” Y’know what those questions are? Communism. They’re anti-V8 in nature, and that kind of thinking is deserving of denaturalization. We don’t want your kind here — we’d much rather have our thirsty, earth-shaking eight-cylinder engines. No, no one’s compensating for anything. Shut up.