Some days, I wake up feeling like a victim. I feel sorry for myself and don’t want to get out of bed.
I even make excuses: “I needed that bourbon last night. I ate too much again. I’ll exercise tomorrow.” I tell myself that the way I’m feeling is due to a terrible night’s sleep.
Or, I replay events in my head, like a silly argument from the night before, the stress from a tough client meeting that day, or the thought of a long and exhausting week ahead.
Ever wake up thinking like this? Ever feel like a victim?
It all begins with the conversations we have with ourselves when we first wake up and all throughout the day. The inner dialogue that is constantly chattering in your head. Most people don’t even realize they are having these ongoing conversations with themselves! Do you?
Why Do We Have Thoughts Like These?
It may sound silly, but I didn’t always know that I had such conversations with myself. They were simply a part of life; I didn’t even acknowledge the constant chatter within my head.
However, through entrepreneurial coaching many years ago, I discovered these internal conversations and realized their tremendous impact on my life. I also realized we all have a 24/7 stream of thoughts and ideas that just do not quit. And as a whole, they are normally not very kind in nature.
In the conversation with yourself, which continues in your head during every waking moment, you often think things that you would never say to a loved one, respected colleague, or good friend: Your thoughts may convey such negativity as, “Today I am going to screw up again.” “I am not that good.” “I hate this job,” or “I dread that difficult client.”
But don’t despair: There is hope! I had an incredible aha! moment when I learned that you can control your thoughts. The first step in controlling them is to recognize that you have these conversations.
How to Reframe Your Internal Conversations
You can’t stop that constant voice in your head, but since you are in control of it, you can change its tone from an ungenerous or even unkind one to a supportive, positive voice that encourages you to achieve your goals. It takes time, constant attention, and a commitment to do so daily, but the results are worth the effort.
“Overcoming negative thoughts is part of what makes us human; we are imperfect, after all,” said Miranda Naiman, an EO Tanzania member. “Controlling—and eventually eradicating them altogether—is a crucial piece of work we need to do; in my humble opinion, it is the highest form of self-care to have a healthy, balanced mindset.”
Ever since I realized that my internal dialogue impacts my attitude and overall success, I’ve changed my morning routine to help me reframe that internal conversation with a positive tone. I actively changed my inner voice. I start my mornings with meditation and intentionally contemplating the day ahead with a positive mindset.
I dismiss “ungenerous” thoughts such as, “I am not looking forward to this day,” by acknowledging and then letting them go without brooding on them. I focus on my mission in life and what I strive to do for my team, family, friends, and clients. Then, I ponder my goals for the day.
Over time, I have become my own best cheerleader.
I ask myself, “How will I be a victor today?” Reframing my inner dialogue in that way always set a positive tone and inspires me to higher levels of success.
As Henry Ford wisely said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you’re right.” Your thoughts matter. When your inner voice speaks, your conscious mind listens to what it says. That’s why transforming your inner dialogue from negative to positive can make such a profound change in your life.
If you want to take your business to the next level, one smart place to start is by taking your self-talk to the next level.
Contributed to EO by entrepreneur and best-selling author Al Zdenek, who changed his negative inner dialogue into a positive force to help him reach his goals.
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