The Transportation Security Administration is so important to the safety of American travelers and 2024 was finally the year they were recognized for their hard work, with the straight-to-Netflix Christmas thriller “Carry-On.” The dead-eyed men and women in blue patrolling your local airports are ever vigilant when it comes to anyone trying to, god forbid, bring more than three ounces of liquid onto an airplane. Occasionally they manage to stumble into some pretty impressive finds, because travelers continue to bring their weapons and drugs to the airport.
Whether on-purpose or not, it’s probably not a good idea to bring grenades, blades, or guns to the airport. Maybe make that your resolution for 2025.
Here are a few of the best TSA finds in 2024.
1. Secret Knife
Every spy worth their salt has a cane knife. It’s just the easiest way to look slightly pathetic, conceal your weapon, and pop it out when they least expect it. Or maybe it was purely accidental and the cane user had no idea there was a small blade hidden inside their walking aid.
And to prove this isn’t a one-off thing, here’s another TSA-confiscated cane sword. Don’t you need a cane sword at minimum to defend yourself going through LaGuardia anyway?
2. Don’t Tase Me, Bro
You can bring one of Tim Apple’s best iTelephones onboard any aircraft, but an iPhone-shaped electrocution device is a bit of a stretch.
3. Jordans That Cut
Don’t hide a box cutter blade in the soles of your Js, man.
4. A Bag Full Of Grief
We’ve covered this one before, but it bears repeating. A bag full of firecrackers and knives is not going to get on your flight. And you probably aren’t either.
5. Grenades For Christmas?
TSA says is screened approximately 40 million holiday travelers between December 19 and January 2. One of them thought they could get away with bringing a grenade in their carry-on luggage. Nope.
6. Summer Grenades?
Grenades are also not allowed in June.
7. Grenades Hot Sauce?
Hot sauce shaped like a grenade is also not allowed. This time because it’s 6 ounces of liquid, but TSA also classifies this as a “replica weapon.”
8. Peanut Butter Is A Liquid?
I love to drink a big warm glass of peanut butter.
9. A Record Number Of Guns
Gun owners should really know the rules and regulations for traveling with their firearms. They have to go in a checked bag, and they have to be locked in a hard-sided case. Yes, even antique guns with no ammunition.
10. A Shotgun Shell Full Of Meth
This is easily my favorite TSA find of 2024, as some dingus tried to tuck a shotgun shell full of methamphetamine into his jock strap and just walk it onto the plane. Maybe don’t try to hide something illegal inside something else that is also illegal. It’s like a TSA turducken of idiocy.
