In what’s bound to only be the 20th stupidest thing today, Donald Trump Jr. is making a multi-million investment into the “Enhanced Games,” which intends to be the Olympics on steroids, literally.
Casting aside the pesky shackles of things like “morals,” “talent,” and “fair play,” the “Enhanced Games” will embrace athletes who can stick as many needles in their ass as possible to compete while juiced out of their mind. It’s all under the guise of “freedom,” as Don Jr. puts it.
“For over 100 years, elites in charge of global sports have stifled innovation, crushed individual greatness, and refused to let athletes push the limits of what’s possible. That ends now,” Trump Jr. said. “The Enhanced Games represent the future — real competition, real freedom, and real records being smashed.”
Those pesky global elites thinking that athletes should compete fairly and equally. What absolute monsters!
So now the very same people calling for 40 transgender athletes to be banned from competing in NCAA sports, saying it was an “unfair playing field,” now want to promote a games that aren’t based on talent, but who has access to the most cutting-edge and expensive steroids.
The Enhanced Games are the brainchild of London-based Aron D’Souza, who says the games will allow athletes to take any quantity of anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, or testosterone replacement therapy before competing in events like track and field, swimming, and weightlifting. There will be medical supervision for the games, to ensure professionals are on hand when athletes’ hearts explode from destroying their lives with drugs.
Naturally health professionals are dismayed by the idea of endorsing an event like this, which is so ludicrously irresponsible. Anabolic steroid users have a three-time greater risk of mortality than non-users, while the use of human growth hormones have been linked to increased risk of multiple types of cancer, diabetes, and liver failure.
Why not just allow gladiatorial combat while we’re at it?
