At a car show in Los Angeles I was able to sit in a Lamborghini LM002 for the first time, which was a very memorable experience even putting aside the fact that it was the very LM002 that Beyoncé used to own. I’ve always loved this outrageous SUV, and seeing them in real life never gets old. Later that day I was reading period reviews of the Rambo Lambo, and Brock Yates’ 1987 piece in Car And Driver really stood out. Yates nailed the LM002’s purpose, and predicted the rise of the modern super SUV.
At the time the LM002 had only been on the market for about a year, following close to a decade of development where the SUV started off as a proposed military vehicle. There was truly nothing like it at the time — SUVs were only just starting to gain traction, and they were mainly traditional models like the Jeep Cherokee or Toyota Land Cruiser. The closest thing to the Lambo that existed was probably the Mercedes G-wagen, or the military Humvee if you count that (the civilian Hummer H1 didn’t appear until 1992).
Yates’ review intro nails how the Lamborghini LM002 was instantly a status symbol more than anything else, as impactful as any of the supercars the automaker had been building for twenty years. People couldn’t believe a company like Lamborghini would really build such a vehicle, and that’s exactly why it was so genius. Adding to the fun is how the LM002 Yates drove was the very first one to reach America
Grab your Guccis, status slaves: the price of fame is rising fast. Just when you thought your new double-throwdown four-wheel-driver had more than enough beans to chug you up the social ladder, we bring you devastating news. Dump your Range Rover, scrap your Isuzu Trooper, and pawn off your cute little Suzuki Samurai on your second cousin from Dubuque, because there is a big, bad new boomer roaming the streets, and it’s destined to make those dinkmobiles as passé as two-tone Willys Jeepsters. Let us introduce you to a vehicle that is to chichi off-road boutique items what the L.A. Raiders are to the Joffrey Ballet. Meet the Mad Max machine. Meet the closest thing to a street-legal Tiger tank known to man. Meet the Lamborghini LM002. Meet the Rambo Lambo.
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Never before in recent memory have we driven a vehicle that has turned as many heads, blown as many minds, freaked as many citizens, or been as much insane, outrageous fun as the Rambo Lambo. Our LM002 was the first to reach these shores through Joe Nastasi’s Lamborghini East distributorship (two more were on the boat: one destined for Chrysler, the new owner of Lamborghini, and one for that renowned trendy Malcolm Forbes), and it riveted attention upon itself wherever we went. Onlookers took hundreds of candid photos of it every time we pulled off the road. Those who spotted the “Lamborghini” logo on its chin-high hood behaved as if they had just witnessed a miracle at Lourdes.
It really is a fantastically well-done review, putting into perspective how absolutely outrageous the LM002 was when it came out (and how wild it still is), and Yates does a great job telling the story of how the LM002 came to be. Comparisons are made to cars like the Range Rover and Honda Civic, but Yates admits that “comparing it with a normal automobile would be akin to measuring the palace at Versailles against a suburban split-level.” An added twist is how Chrysler had just bought Lamborghini, and Yates says Chrysler execs were baffled when he asked them about the purchase.
At the end of the review, Yates explains why he thinks the LM002 are so desirable, and he basically nails the appeal of the modern super SUV. Even when the Porsche Cayenne debuted in 2003, or the Lamborghini Urus came out in 2017, could we have expected the market to blow up like it did? If you’ve been listening to Brock Yates, it’s not so surprising.
Okay, now that we have told you that the Rambo Lambo is the most sensational outré vehicle to hit the road since the Bugatti Royale, what are you going to do about it? If you are truly driven by the lust for status, we suggest that you do anything to obtain the $120,000 necessary for the purchase of an LM002. You might rob 1200 convenience stores at a hundred bucks a hit, or hock everything you own, even your autographed picture of Jackie O., and bet all the proceeds in a state lottery. Whatever it takes, you simply must have this Lambo because it has suddenly consigned all other automotive status symbols—Porsches, Ferraris, Countaches, Rollers, you name it—to the trash heap of social obsolescence.
Once you take delivery of your LM002, consider the following minor modifications. First, give it an appropriate paint job—perhaps a combination of desert brown, flat black, and naval haze gray. A full military camouflage treatment might work, though you wouldn’t want to be mistaken for a staff sergeant in the National Guard. We also recommend tinted windows. And more lights. And lots of antennas. A full armor package would be nice too but it would reduce the vehicle’s performance. A gun rack is essential, though. For Uzis, of course.
See you on Rodeo Drive. Or in downtown Beirut. Or in the Khyber Pass. Your choice.
