On February 22, a 737 MAX 8, a member of the Boeing gang that goes by the street name American Airlines Flight 923, landed safely. Exciting news! Except that it clearly wasn’t just a plane: this particular 737 must be a hardened drug lord, desperately fighting for its life while trying to maintain its extravagant lifestyle because this plane flew from Miami, Florida to Medellin, Colombia — home of the late cocaine king Pablo Escobar — and took a bullet in the process. Yes, although landing went smoothly and all the humans were unharmed, the maintenance crew discovered that the plane had, in fact, been shot. By a bullet.
CBS News reports that the bullet hole was found on the aileron of the right wing, with the telltale signs of a clean entry hole and a more damaged exit hole. Since the crew didn’t work on it until the day after the flight, it isn’t clear if the gangbanging plane was hit in the air or on the ground. The fact that the pilots apparently didn’t notice any problems suggests the latter. That would mean the 737 was jumped while it was parked, sound asleep, because the cowards wouldn’t dare face its fury in broad daylight. But this plane is tough and you know what they say: when you come at the wing, you best not miss.
Shot, but not shot down
So the 737 lived to plot its vengeance. To show that it had no fear of dying or flying, it got itself patched up quick and then flew as scheduled back to Miami. Uh, I’m not sure any of the passengers were aware they were on a plane that had just been shot, or I’m guessing they would not have boarded it. Anyway, somebody on the crew must have snitched, because once it landed back in the U.S., it was hauled off to Dallas, where it was held for a day or two, presumably for repairs. Maybe it got a little black tear livery under its left cockpit window, who knows.
But this 737 knows the game. Posted bail. It’s back in the air, flying all kinds of routes. Getting high on its own supply, as in 10,000 ft high. But, here’s the thing: according to FlightAware, on February 27, it took its next and (so far) last flight to Medellin. Maybe it had some… business class to attend to. Revenge is a dish best served by flight attendants. The 737, after all, is part of the Boeing gang, and a Boeing knows how to strike back.
