Big Oil Once Made A ‘Clueless’-Inspired Propaganda Film For Teens, And It’s Even Worse Than You Could Possibly Imagine

Much like the tobacco industry and cancer, the oil industry knew for a long time that its products were terrible for both the planet and the people who live here. But where there’s a lot of money to be made, you’ll find plenty of people willing to overlook the “killing people and the planet” part of their jobs in exchange for a share of that money. After all, it’s not like they were going to have to deal with the consequences of a climate change-ravaged planet. So when the public started to catch on, clearly, the only thing to do was start cranking out propaganda.

And you know what they say, the children are our future (even if the oil industry was actively working to destroy those kids’ future). So, of course, they couldn’t just focus on adults. They had to indoctrinate the kids, too. And what better way to connect with ’90s kids than by making a 17-minute short film very clearly inspired by the movie “Clueless”? That’ll definitely get those kids to stop buying into all that “science” and “proof” that burning petroleum products is bad for the environment. Just gotta call it something clever, like, I don’t know, “Fuel-less: You Can’t Be Cool Without Fuel.”

Sadly, while plenty of people on the internet remember being shown “Fuel-less,” when the folks at Climate Town tried to find it to use in this video, they came up short. Clearly, the only possible conclusion was that Big Oil was engaged in yet another cover-up. Fast forward two years, though, and what do you know, someone finally found a copy. Even if you know it’s going to be bad, I promise you, you aren’t prepared for just how bad it actually is. 

Honestly, even before you get to the actual propaganda part of the video, it starts off weird — just a naked high schooler getting out of the shower. Could they have simply shown the actress wrapped in a towel with wet hair to establish that she’d just showered? Sure, but then how would the director perv on what’s supposed to be a literal child? I’d say the ’90s were a different time, but considering that notorious child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s was friends with very prominent people in our government, I don’t know if that’s the case. 

Thankfully, once the director is done sexualizing a child, they quickly move on to the propaganda part of the propaganda film. For reasons that are never explained, when this girl gets out of the shower, every petroleum product she owns has disappeared. Well, except for a bunch of plastic items that they needed to use as props, but you aren’t supposed to focus on that. You also aren’t supposed to question why she doesn’t have any clothes made from cotton but does have a burlap sack to wear to school. A school she got to…somehow. Thankfully, she has a teacher who knows exactly what’s going on. 

Of course, you also couldn’t make a video in the ’90s without a theme song and a music video, and thankfully, “Fuel-less” doesn’t disappoint there, either. And what do you know, when you finally get to the end of all the pro-oil propaganda about how they’re secretly the good guys, what’s the main lesson? It’s on all of us, as individuals, to clean up their mess and make better choices. Take that, regulators. 

But hey, maybe the oil industry is different now! Aren’t they all working on biofuels that will save the planet? Oh, wait. That’s basically a lie, too. What a wonderful time to be alive.