At $88,777, Would You Go On Tour In This 2018 Porsche Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo?

Hot wagons like Audi’s RS 6 Avant, Mercedes’ AMG E 53, and today’s Nice Price or No Dice Porsche Panamera are all the rage these days with hardcore enthusiasts who are looking for something a little different. Let’s see if this bubble-back beauty is priced for its niche or for broader appeal.

Clowns are terrifying. Clown cars, on the other hand — tiny, brightly painted machines out of which spill a tumbling madness of bulbous red noses, pancake makeup faces, and boutonnière affixed flowers that squirt god knows what — can oftentimes be quite whimsical and charming.

While it may be small enough to contain a chuckle of clowns, being a convertible makes the 1955 Hudson Metropolitan we looked at yesterday somewhat ill-suited for the task. Still, a comically large windup key fitted to the car’s back would not be considered out of place. Not quite so fitting was the Metro’s $12,000 asking price, as you all gave it a 53% ‘No Dice’ loss.

Have you ever taken issue with the term “sport utility?” It can be argued that almost all of the vehicles to which that descriptor has been applied tend to get the utility element right. Most of them, however, fail at being anything close to sporty.

Today’s 2018 Porsche Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo is quite the opposite. A short-lived long-roof version of Porsche’s premier four-door sport sedan, the Sport Turismo’s slightly larger cargo capacity and lower lift-over height for the boot give it a leg up over the lower-roofed hatchback edition when it comes to utility. It also looks better than the hatch, with a back end that is 100% Sir Mix-a-Lot approved.

For the sport side of the equation, this Porsche acquits itself with undeniable panache. Under the hood, the Sport Turismo is armed with a 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8 that makes 550 horsepower and 567 pound-feet of torque, with the latter coming in hot at less than 2,000 rpm. Behind that is an eight-speed PDK gearbox, which feeds the ponies, a corral at a time, to all four corners through the chassis’ full-time AWD.

According to the ad, the seller wants us to enjoy reviewing their car. That review begins by noting that there are only 58,900 miles on this Panamera’s odometer, and those miles are hardly noticeable, given that the car’s condition is described as being “like new.” The color scheme of Volcano Grey Metallic exterior and black leather interior may not be the most loin-stirring, but it is stately and stealthy, which are perhaps more endearing qualities in the long run. Nothing about the car’s looks appears amiss. There are no noticeable dings or dents, and the up-optioned Porsche crest-capped wheels show no sign of curbing.

The ad doesn’t specify how many folks have been on this Porsche’s title in the past, but it does claim that it was well cared for throughout each owner transition and comes with service records from new. As an added benefit, it also comes with a CPO warranty that is valid through April of next year, and the option to extend it with the simple act of paying Porsche more money. That might not be needed right away, as the car has a clean title and no apparent mechanical issues.

This Panamera is also very well-equipped, and, as is the bent of many modern Porsche owners, the seller likes to list the car’s options and their corresponding factory build codes. Some of the most notable features are the Matrix headlamps, Park Assist, Chrono Sport package, and the carbon fiber interior trim package. That carbon fiber trim is applied to the dashboard, door inserts, and Panamera Turbo script sill plates. All together, it adds a touch of bling to the otherwise business-like interior.

As a fairly contemporary car (less than a decade old), it still boasts all the expected bells and whistles, including multi-zone climate control and a honkin’-big infotainment screen in the dash. And while this is a fairly large car, positioned as a grand tourer, it is only a four-seater, so prospective buyers shouldn’t plan any road trips in it with Aunt Edna blocking the rearview. Another possible annoyance is Porsche’s choice of touch switches on the console. On the niftier side, there’s an automatically deploying aero aid on top of the hatch, which, honestly, is only enjoyable for people following the Porsche, as its action is not observable from inside the car. 

According to the seller, when new, this Panamera cost $176,970.00. If that’s at all jaw-dropping consider that, today, the top-of-the-line Panamera Turbo S Hybrid starts at over $200K, and that’s before Porsche’s options book is cracked open. More in our Porsche’s favor is its $88,777 asking, which puts it at less than half the asking—even with all its add-on options—of a new car. Plus, you can’t even get the Sport Turismo body style any longer because we live in the worst timeline.

What’s your opinion on this true sport utility with the emphasis on sport at that $88,777 price? Does that feel like a deal to get one of the quirkiest Porsches around? Or for that much, is it better to invest in a 911?

You decide!

Los Angeles, California, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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