At $23,999, Is This 2016 VW Golf R The Perfect Adult Toy?

The seller of today’s Nice Price or No Dice Golf R touts it as “adult-owned,” promoting that they have not abused it on the track or in the canyons. Its low mileage means there’s plenty of hoonage left to be had, so let’s look at its price and see if we can be the mature ones here.

In what we can all agree is a surprising turn of events, Honda is preparing a new Prelude for the global market. Over at Nissan, the Z car soldiers on, the latest version now three or so years old. Toyota competes with both the brawny BMW-co-created Supra and the smaller Subaru conspired 86. A new Celica is supposedly on the horizon as well, although that is rumored to be a mid-engined sports car, making one wonder if MR2 wouldn’t be a better name to pull out of the company’s historical hat.

All these cars prove that Japanese carmakers haven’t lost their love of the coupe form, but the handful of cars in the market or on its cusp pale in comparison to the plethora of those from which buyers could choose during the coupe’s heydays in the 1990s. We looked at one of those heyday heroes, a 1996 Toyota Celica GT, yesterday. A convertible with an automatic that would make it an excellent weekend cruiser, that Celica also looked to be in tip-top condition, despite its hefty mileage. A $4,990 price sealed the deal, earning the Celica a solid 80% Nice Price win.

It’s not quite yet Talk Like a Pirate Day, but we can still say ‘Arrr,’ as in this 2016 Volkswagen Golf R, which is the pinnacle of performance for the Golf lineup here in the States and presently one of just two Golf models (the other being the GTI) on offer here new.

We’re now on the Golf’s eighth generation, but that’s more a refresh than a rethink, so this, a seventh-gen car, doesn’t feel all that old or appear antiquated in any way. It also still has the goods under the hood. The car’s marching orders originate from an enhanced edition of VW’s stalwart EA 888 DOHC 16-valve four that, in traditional Golf fashion, sits sideways under that hood. On the R, everything is bigger or better on the top end of this mill, with a larger turbo and intercooler, higher-flow injectors, revised exhaust valving, and a more aggressive ECU tune. 

All together, those upgrades give the 2.0-liter four the capability to make 292 horsepower and 282 pound-feet of torque on premium fuel. That’s routed to all four wheels through a six-speed manual gearbox and Haldex-developed AWD with a torque-vectoring diff that can shut off power to the rear end when not needed.

The ad claims that, unlike some others, all that potential for fun and games is still inherent in this car. In touting this Golf’s low (49,719) mileage and what they say is an excellent overall condition, the seller boasts:

Let’s be honest; most people abuse their Golf R, GTI, WRX, and STI. This Golf R is the exception… Second of two adult (older) owners, never tracked, raced, canyoned, etc. Some may say, “What a waste,” but to me, this car is the perfect daily driver.

That’s a bold assertion, but then this is a Golf and those do tend to be some of the best cars out there for the USDA-recommended daily consumption of tarmac, so maybe there’s some truth in this being the perfect all-rounder. It certainly looks good all the way around. The metallic gray paint still pops almost a decade out from being new, and the 18-inch alloys with their 40-series rubber band tires are free of any marring. A VW roof rack extends the car’s utility, but is thankfully removable when not needed.

Other OEM add-ons include a protective carpet mat for the load area and window screens to keep the sun at bay. As this is an “adult-owned car,” the windows don’t have an aggressive (and legally questionable) tint. Nor are there any weird mods like a mega bass speaker cluttering up the cabin. The R is a well-equipped Golf, offering automatic climate control, power windows, locks, and parking brake. 

There’s also leather seating surfaces with the R logo embroidered on the backs of the highly-bolstered front buckets. Those, amazingly, don’t show any signs of duress from ingress and egress, something that’s fairly common on the Volkswagen sport thrones. A sizable infotainment screen makes the dash feel modern enough, even supporting Apple CarPlay.

According to the seller, there are no issues whatsoever with the car; no lights, no bumps in the night. Another plus, the car had a clutch replacement under the previous owner, so it should still be as fresh as a new summer morn. A clean title completes the car’s bona fides.

Per the seller, “You’re not going to find a cleaner, low-mileage, manual Golf R.” That’s a likely truth, but at a $23,999 asking price, we need to ask, “Do we really want to be looking?” That price tag is not “why the heck not?” kind of money. This does seem, however, a lot of car for that kind of cash.

Is it, though? What do you think the cleanest, lowest-mileage Golf R in all the land should reasonably be worth? Is $23,999 a fair price for this fun car? Or, for that much, does this hot hatch leave you cold?

You decide!

Los Angeles, California, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOND. Contact me at [email protected] and send a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your commenter handle.