Donald Trump‘s birthday is this weekend, and now that he’s finally a big boy, he’s having Uncle Sam throw him a big parade, complete with marching Army men, zooming planes and even his favorite toy — tanks. Sure, it will reportedly cost taxpayers $45 million at a time when prices are rising, many can barely afford to pay their bills and no one has any idea how much worse the economy will get, but he wants his special day to be special. While the parade itself will be expensive, that isn’t the only expected cost, though. Washington D.C. also expects to spend millions repairing its streets after the event is over, NBC News reports.
The problem is, of course, that tanks and other military vehicles are heavy. Very heavy. According to the Guardian, the parade will feature “28 M1 Abrams tanks, each weighing more than 60 tons, as well as 28 tracked Bradley Fighting Vehicles, 28 wheeled Stryker combat vehicles, four tracked M-109 Paladin self-propelled howitzers and other towed artillery.” Compared to the tanks, the Bradley Fighting Vehicles are relatively light, coming in at less than 30 tons each, similar to the M109 Paladins, while the Strykers are closer to 18 tons.
That’s a lot of weight, and the streets of Washington, D.C., simply aren’t built to handle vehicles that heavy. Tanks can be especially problematic, as we’ve seen in other parades around the world, since their treads have a nasty habit of chewing up asphalt. If you’ve ever wondered why the U.S. doesn’t usually use tanks in parades, that’s part of it. Plus previous presidents also didn’t want to look like, you know, military dictators, who are the types who normally throw such parades.
Cost to taxpayers
According to NBC News, the Army said it expects its tanks to cause “minimal damage” to the streets of D.C., but it also already budgeted $16 million for repairs once the parade is over. Washington, D.C. officials also told NBC the federal government has yet to sign a formal agreement to pay the city back for necessary repairs, so it’s entirely possible the city and its residents could end up footing the bill for Trump’s big birthday parade. It also isn’t like Trump has a solid track record of paying his bills, with many cities left holding the bag after events.
Ultimately, there’s no way to know how much damage Trump’s Army-themed birthday party will do to the streets of D.C. until it’s over, and we won’t know how much it ultimately cost to repair until much later. As anyone who’s ever tried to put in a long driveway can tell you, proper concrete and asphalt work isn’t cheap. Maybe the Army will spend taxpayer money to cover the entire cost. Maybe it won’t. Considering Trump’s track record, the good money is probably on “won’t,” but you never know. There’s always the chance he’ll be visited by three ghosts tonight and have a complete change of heart.
Of course, none of this is actually necessary. Sure, Trump’s birthday happens to coincide with the Army’s 250th anniversary, but you don’t need tanks to celebrate that. Per the Guardian, the original plan, before Trump decided to throw himself a big birthday bash, included just 300 people and a concert performed by the Army’s band. Now that Trump’s commandeered the event to stroke his own ego, we’re looking at something like 150 vehicles, 50 planes and 6,700 soldiers, as well as millions in completely unnecessary costs to taxpayers. Isn’t America great?
