“I’d only been to one Nigerian wedding before ours,” says Jeanne. She’s American, and her husband, Folarin, is British Nigerian. Portugal felt like a good meeting point for guests coming from multiple continents, and together the couple hosted a big colorful wedding with lots of speeches and lots of dancing. Below, they walk us through the day, with photos by Jimena San Miguel…
Jeanne: I actually wanted a small wedding, but Folarin was like, ‘I want it to be like the best party we’ve ever been to!’ and our parents were also in that camp. I came around to the idea of doing a bigger wedding, but by Nigerian standards, this was still incredibly small.
Folarin: I’ve been to many weddings with over 1,000 people. My ideal number would probably have been like 500, and Jeanne’s was fewer than 50. We ended up in the middle with around 200 guests.
Jeanne: My dress was quite simple for Nigerian bride standards, but I am not a super bedazzled glamour girl. I wanted to wear something that felt like me.
Folarin: Outfits for the bride and groom are made from a special fabric that is woven by hand in rural areas of Nigeria. Nobody warned us that these fabrics are very heavy. We were getting married outside in July, and I was wearing something like 10 yards of fabric!
Folarin: A lot happens at the wedding before the central couple is even there. After the guests are seated, the groom’s family enters, then the bride’s family, then eventually the groom, and finally the bride.
Jeanne: I was hanging out with my bridesmaids for two hours after the wedding started!
Folarin: You don’t walk into the ceremony; you dance through all of the guests to get to the stage. A Nigerian wedding is very festive and loud.
Jeanne: Historically, it’s also super transactional. There’s a bride price, all of that. We did a lot of the Nigerian wedding customs, but for us, it was more about the two families coming together.
Folarin: A big part of the ceremony is this very tangible show of respect. The groom lies down on the ground in front of both sets of parents to express gratitude. My mum was wearing orange. My dad’s brother and my grandma are sitting on either side of her.
Folarin: I became overcome with emotion while expressing gratitude to my family.
Folarin: On the left is my grandma, and on the right is her sister. Nigerian weddings are exuberant. You can wear all your expensive jewelry, lots of color, even a gold dress, and you won’t look out of place — everybody’s doing it.
Jeanne: I’m not a confident dancer, but dancing into the ceremony was super fun. The person who wrapped my hair taught me three core moves I could do, and that carried me through. Before going out, I practiced in the mirror with my bridesmaids — and had a little tequila!
Folarin: Seeing Jeanne really owning that space, even though she’s not Nigerian and doesn’t really enjoy dancing, was really, really special.
Jeanne: Between the daytime and the evening events, we got to have a quiet moment together. It was nice to unwind and connect.
Jeanne: And eat! I hadn’t eaten all day.
Folarin: We found a Nigerian caterer, but he was struggling to deliver. A few of my mom’s friends stepped in to support him and get everything done. There was jollof rice, plantains, and traditional stews.
Folarin: After dinner, the last things on the agenda were to cut the cake and then dance, dance, dance. We shared the playlist with our guests.
Folarin: Throwing money during the wedding symbolizes wealth and fortune, and the money helps the couple get started.
Jeanne: The next day, we did a classic American ceremony with a white dress, a priest, and the Black American tradition of jumping the broom. Both of the wedding days were so much fun. But, honestly, my family is still talking about the Nigerian wedding day. They loved it.
Thank you for sharing your wedding with us, Jeanne and Folarin!
P.S. More weddings, like would you wear a short wedding dress and how would you make your wedding feel true to you?
(Photos by Jimena San Miguel of Volvoreta.)
