Over the holidays, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and babies squeeze into our Brooklyn home. I love love love the happy chaos of a full house, but the only catch is that, in past years, you’d sometimes look around the living room and spot almost all the grownups and teenagers on their phones.
“Let’s play Monopoly!” I once said, trying to rally everyone around the board game on the coffee table. “We already are,” my cousin called out, without looking up, and pointed to his dad across the room. “Oh, right,” I said. They were playing online.
But! Two years ago, my cousin Jeremy, now a father of two in Pittsburgh who has a generous laugh and can cook a pasta feast rivaling The Godfather, had an idea: “What if we ban phones in communal spaces? Adults can check their messages in the bedrooms if they need to, but otherwise the holidays will remain phone-free.”
I loved the idea — so did his wife, Meredith — so we spread the word, and everyone got on board.
Jeremy and Meredith
That holiday was the best we’d ever had — the teenagers played peek-a-boo with the babies and pretended to nap on the sofa while giggly toddlers tried to rouse them, adults debated answers to the New York Times crossword puzzle, and an uncle inevitably nodded off in an armchair.
All our family gatherings since then have been phone-free in communal spaces — summer vacations, weekend visits, Thanksgiving, you name it — and it makes a huge difference. If you’re up for it, maybe try it out. It’s so nice to be present and just hang in a room full of relatives, especially if the last time you did it was when you were a kid yourself.
Have you tried something similar? What other holiday rituals do you love?
P.S. How to host a holiday cookie swap and a fun one-rule game for the holidays.
