It’s impossible to escape A.I., and NFL coaches are no different. Now coaches will be able to rely on a computer to tell them what play to call as part of the league’s partnership with Microsoft. The Surface tablets, which have become a sideline staple of the NFL will now boast “Copilot,” which offer an A.I. solution on which is the best play to call based on down, distance, and past results of plays.
Finally coaches with decades of expertise in their craft can dial up plays with the same amount of care as a sophomore cheating on a term paper. What a time to be alive. You can pretty much guess the guys in the league who will absolutely NOT be relying on A.I. to help them, but we wager a lot of young coaches, and those on the hot seat might try anything to turn things around, even if it means leaning on A.I.
There’s just one problem: It’s unclear if this technology will work, like, at all. See, Copilot has been added to Microsoft Excel, and already the company is essentially warning people not to rely on it for things that actually matter.
Microsoft also warns against using the AI function for numerical calculations or in “high-stakes scenarios” with legal, regulatory, and compliance implications, as COPILOT “can give incorrect responses.”
It doesn’t exactly bode well for the future when there’s 20 seconds left on the clock with 4th-and-goal from the five yard line and A.I. tells the coach it’s time to run up the gut, or tells the coach to take the field goal when all analytics say otherwise.
This got me thinking though. Let’s assume every coach in the NFL is willing to use A.I. at least once. Maybe not for football, but their life. What would everyone’s first prompt be?
Arizona Cardinals — Jonathan Gannon
“best call of duty loadout asking for a friend”
Atlanta Falcons— Raheem Morris
”should the falcons trade kirk cousins?”
Baltimore Ravens — John Harbaugh
“list all the ways john harbaugh is better than jim harbaugh”
Buffalo Bills — Sean McDermott
“sean mcdermott fired odds vegas”
Carolina Panthers — Dave Canales
“give me a motivational bible quote about a short man winning”
Chicago Bears — Ben Johnson
“what is the ideal obtuse angle for a slant route run in 15 degree weather with a headwind”
Cincinnati Bengals — Zac Taylor
“coaching for dummies”
Cleveland Browns — Kevin Stefanski
“how do i stop a fight between two gen z kids?”
Dallas Cowboys — Brian Schottenheimer
“jerry jones age and age of mortality in usa”
Denver Broncos — Sean Payton
“best new strains near me”
Detroit Lions — Dan Campbell
“will eating a jar of change make me tougher?”
Green Bay Packers — Matt LaFleur
“tell me how smart i am for realizing aaron rodgers is washed”
Houston Texans — DeMeco Ryans
“give me 10 plays when you have 15 receivers and no offensive line”
Indianapolis Colts — Shane Steichen
“daniel jones or anthony richardson?”
Jacksonville Jaguars — Liam Coen
“how to pronounce duval”
Kansas City Chiefs — Andy Reid
“how much cheese is too much cheese?”
Las Vegas Raiders — Pete Carroll
“does jet fuel melt steel beams”
Los Angeles Chargers — Jim Harbaugh
“today’s best khaki sales”
Los Angeles Rams — Sean McVay
“can a human play football with a robotic spine?”
Miami Dolphins — Mike McDaniel
“rules of pickleball”
Minnesota Vikings — Kevin O’Connell
“how to stop a star receiver from driving a car”
New England Patriots — Mike Vrabel
“available white free agents with grit”
New Orleans Saints — Kellen Moore
“things to do in new orleans other than watch the saints”
New York Giants — Brian Daboll
New York Jets — Aaron Glenn
“how to handle disappointment”
Philadelphia Eagles — Nick Sirianni
“is it legal for a coach to fight a fan in a parking lot?”
Pittsburgh Steelers — Mike Tomlin
“what to do when your job depends on someone incompetent”
San Francisco 49ers — Kyle Shanahan
“is brock purdy elite?”
Seattle Seahawks — Mike Macdonald
“how to break bad news to sam darnold”
Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Todd Bowles
“why does nobody remember todd bowles is the coach of the bucs?”
Tennessee Titans — Brian Callahan
Washington Commanders — Dan Quinn
“why does kliff kingsbury get all the credit in washington?”
