Folks, I found it: The perfect car. Let’s call it the perfect vehicle, actually, since I’m not sure this meets the legal definition of a “car,” but that just makes it all the better. This Smart Car-bodied turbo Polaris RZR is incredible. I want desperately to zip-tie a license plate to it, slap on some less terrible wheels, and hoon this thing as hard as the streets of Brooklyn will let me. And, with your help, we can make that dream a reality.
I know, last time I came on here to beg you all for money I was asking for a truly pretty penny: $3 million for the perfect live-in shop. None of you Venmoed me three million United States dollars, but I don’t hold it against you — that’s a lot of money to go throwing around in an app. Today, though, I only ask for a much more reasonable $20,000 for this perfect Polaris RZR.
She’s (almost) perfect
This RZR is lifted on a long-travel kit and portal axles, and its body has been swapped out with that of a Smart Fortwo — not just any Smart, mind you, but a convertible. It’s decked out in Barbie graphics, and it has suspension components color-matched to the pink stickers. The only way to improve it would be to remove those godawful multipiece wheels, and put on something suitably garish. Chrome, or pink, or pink chrome.
There’s my pitch: Venmo me $20,000 for this Barbie Polaris RZR Smart ForTwo, and in exchange I will buy this Barbie Polaris RZR Smart ForTwo. I know I said “loan” in the headline there, but what I’m really pitching is more of an investment. You’re getting a chance to get in on the ground floor of me owning the world’s perfect vehicle, which has the potential to show near-infinite returns on wild-eyed grins and unbridled glee. Not a ton of return on the whole “money” thing, though.
