Wake up, babe! GreenLight Collectibles just announced a 1:64 scale diecast release of the USPS Next Generation Delivery Van! From the moment I saw this ridiculously proportioned underbite machine, I knew it had changed the very fabric of my being. If the United States Postal Service can be whimsical enough to drive around in these platypus vans hit with a Photoshop Stretch Vertical tool, then I can add a little more whimsy to my everyday life, too.
We all love the United States Postal Service, and it goes without saying that I back the real boys and girls in blue. Postal carriers have shown unbeatable dedication to our country by driving old shitty Grumman LLVs well past their prime for decades. It’s about damn time that they got a new vehicle using modern technology to make their delivery lives easier, quicker, and more reliable. Friendship ended with Grumman Long Life Vehicle, now Oshkosh Next Generation Delivery Van is my best friend.
While the new van is just a prototype at the moment, Greenlight says they will be on grocery store pegs by the first quarter of next year. So while they won’t be around to get in time for Christmas, I’m still pretty excited by the prospects of adding one of these to my desk so I can fidget with its weird little body when I get writer’s block. You should pick one up, too. As Francis Bacon once said, “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” Life could use a bit more strangely proportioned beauty.
