I’ve complained in the past about cars becoming too sporty for their own good – especially German crossovers, but that doesn’t mean I like an unnecessary sporty car every once in a while. I’m talking about stuff like the Mercedes-Benz R63 AMG, Toyota Avalon TRD and Chevy Impala SS. These are all cars that didn’t need a sporty trim level, yet their makers decided…maybe they did. That thought is what got me thinking about today’s question.
I want to know what mundane car with zero sporty pretensions deserves some sort of sport trim. What sort of normal-ass car needs a hot version? To me, the clear answer is the Chrysler Pacifica – or any minivan, really. The Pentastar got the closest when it released the Dodge Grand Caravan R/T back in 2012, but the “man van” was little more than an appearance package. It’s time Chrysler made a hot Pacifica, Toyota made a TRD Sienna, Honda made a Type R Odyssey and Kia made a Carnival GT. They’d sell dozens of them!
There are plenty of other boring cars to choose from, obviously. Most cars are boring, and that’s why they need some punching up with sport trims. I’m not just talking about appearance packages like the Grand Caravan R/T either. I want automakers to put racy suspension and a high-po motor into these cars. It’s what we deserve.
Do I care if there’s no real business case for these cars? Fuck no. This is a fantasy, my friends. It’s a place for our minds and souls to run wild, concocting some of the dumbest cars imaginable.
Anyway, drop down below and let your fellow Jalops know what mundane car deserves a sporty treatment. As always, I’ll be awarding extra points to those who tell me why their selection should come with a sporty trim and what they’d change to make that happen.
