I’ve mentioned several times that, when I was in high school, my dad purchased a one-year-old, ex-rental 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT. It was refrigerator white, but—being an SXT—was one step up from the base model, so you got power windows and mirrors, keyless entry, alloy wheels, and cruise control. I even learned to drive on this car.
What I didn’t mention was that I was excited about it. I was excited mostly because Dad’s prior daily was a 1992 Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight inherited from my grandmother, and that was beginning to fall apart. It had the typical GM malady of a sagging headliner, whose fabric Dad unceremoniously ripped out one day, leaving behind an ugly board with remnants of orangey-brown glue. And the Olds’ suspension practically sat on the bump-stops, due to worn out shocks and all the equipment Dad kept in there for his job. It didn’t always reliably start, either, despite that bulletproof 3800. And the transmission was slipping.
I was just excited we’d be in something newer and safer. With more airbags than just one. I also thought the design looked kind of cool, like all of Dodge’s blocky masculinity crammed into a small Mitsubishi-derived hatchback/wagon thingy.
But then we got the Caliber. And then I saw what a piece of shit it was. And then I wasn’t excited anymore.
I was super unexcited when Mom totaled her Sorento in 2009 and all five of us had to cram into the Caliber for the better part of a summer, while we found Mom a replacement car.
Now, I’m excited when I see them on the road, if only to gawk. “You’re still driving that thing?” Arguably the worst compact cars of their era (the GM Deltas had some redeeming qualities, even if they did try to kill you), Calibers are pretty uncommon these days. It’s funny because a good number of Calibers sold within the Cash 4 Clunkers program (there was a waiting list at one point), meaning they displaced plenty of older rides and now they themselves have been mostly extinguished.
Actually, I guess I owe it to the Caliber. That pathetic ride probably catapulted me right into my love for big, bougie luxury cars. Those cars haven’t always been kind to my wallet, but at least they aren’t the fucking Dodge Caliber.
