For many of us, at least in the northern hemisphere, September usually marks the final days of summer holidays and a winding down of dedicated family time with our children and life partners. Travel and beach time give way to academic pressures. Schools call our kids back, and the quickening pace of business demands our increasing attention. We may feel pulled in two very different directions, and that can be stressful.
Being a strong leader in the workplace may not seem to be a transferable skill in relationships at home or conversations around the dinner table. But they’re not so different. The more I grow, not only as an entrepreneur, but as a father and husband, the more I see how these two parallel priorities need not be separate. We can improve the skills that help us in each important aspect of our lives. Here are four key ways I have observed:
1. Clarity Is The Gift We Give
As a father and husband—but also as an entrepreneur and leader—I’ve learned that being clear is essential in both our professional and family lives. Clarity helps us set expectations and boundaries, whether coaching a child to focus on their studies and contribute around the house or directing an employee to achieve specific goals. It helps us build mutual respect and trust.
In our personal and professional lives, it’s important we check in with ourselves regularly and ask: What exactly are we trying to accomplish or improve in the next six months or year? What is our specific ask or expectation? And therefore, what levers do we need to pull?
If we are not clear on the answers to these questions, how can we expect anyone in our close circles to be? The more we practice clarity in our communication at home and at work, the easier it becomes for the people in our lives to move in a harmonious direction. The alternative is ongoing confusion and frustration for all.
2. Quality Time Is More Effective Than ‘Facetime’
After earlier years of trying to do double duty and doing neither role as well as I’d hoped, I now understand how the quality of time we spend with our teams at work and with our families at home matters far more than how much time we show up or clock in. In both cases, it’s about mindful presence. And that starts with being aware that our time is finite, whether we like it or not.
Coming home in time for bedtime rituals or showing up for the school play loses meaning if mobile phones divert our attention. The same is true in our businesses. Showing up at the office at 7am and leaving at 8pm at night for the sake of being in the office won’t inspire our employees if we don’t invest focused, quality time in one-on-one conversations with them to better understand their values—their needs. Our kids and our teams can feel that lack of personal investment.
This understanding of quality versus quantity of time comes from facing where we are in our parental or entrepreneurial journey. Success often inspires entrepreneurs to create another product, another service, or even launch an entirely new business. But chasing quantity can often add to our distractions. Step back and ask around, starting with our life partners, whether that new venture would diminish the quality time we need to focus on current business and our families.
3. Check In Not With Authority, But With Intentional Empathy
As parents and business leaders, we may be authority figures. But we also have the potential to be coaches and champions. Our families and employees not only need our guidance, but our understanding. Our empathy. Leading with empathy starts by being human with those around us; checking in at a regular cadence, not by asking what they are doing, but how they are doing.
The longer I am an entrepreneur, the more I see that if we want people to care about our businesses and our aspirations and unlock their full potential, we need to demonstrate that we care about their worries or ambitions. It is our responsibility to offer assurance that their strengths are fully seen and harnessed. That is almost as true in business as it is in our families. Both our families and teams at work will commit to our vision if we take the time to ensure that they are seen, heard, and cared for.
This requires intentionality and a commitment to leave the enemy of intentionality, ego, at the door. This became clear to me after reading Gregg Hurwitz’s book, Orphan X: “Babies take everything from you: your time, your figure, your looks, they take your sleep until you don’t know how to function. But all that is a disguise for the most important thing they take from you: your selfishness. And that’s the true gift of parenthood.”
When making a weighty business or family decision, let go of any need to be right or remain firmly in control. Try to avoid leading purely from a position of authority, and instead, focus on being more human.
4. Strong Communication Skills are Transferable (from Home to Work and Back Again)
Too often, we are so focused on building companies we risk isolating ourselves and getting caught in our own echo chambers. Experience has taught me to guard against this. The people looking to us for leadership and support—whether in our living rooms or company break rooms— are vital points of feedback for us to practice our communication skills and discover our blind spots.
Here’s what I mean: My monthly Forum meetings with EO peers have taught me not only how to have more respectful, vulnerable, deeply connecting and constructive conversations around the board table; they have also helped me navigate delicate discussions at home with my family. When I strive to first listen with curiosity, then connect with each person speaking, and not follow my instinct to instantly correct or offer solutions, I can truly hear the unique perspectives they are trying to share.
Also, throughout my business leadership journey, I have been fortunate to learn from several EO peers that instead of working tirelessly to grow a company so that someday I can spend more time with my family, my children are growing up faster than I even realize. It’s that 18 summers theory. And someday may never come. The time to balance our schedules and priorities is right now.
So, whether we are building a business or raising a family, the skills we gain in each environment can complement and strengthen the other. We just need to apply the most helpful principles of each so that we can master them in a more integrated, holistic way that respects our one whole self—whether parent, spouse, founder, or CEO.
Contributed by Jamie Pujara, EO’s Global Board Chair and a member of EO Kenya.
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