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I have made millions of dollars by making music hits and selling more than 80 million records. I have also built multiple multi-million dollar businesses. I did this by selling my value, talking my way out of tough situations, negotiating deals, using the power of persuasion, and being able to reasonably deal with some of the most unreasonable people throughout my life — both in business and the streets.
But I never attended college, had formal musical training, or enrolled in a leadership course. So how did I do it? There was one source of truth that I always relied on and cultivated. It starts with a simple concept that I built out over my years as a successful entrepreneur and founder.
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I learned not to overlook or ignore any source of information or person. Everybody matters, but they don’t matter the same. I learned how to give different people different attention.
The issue is that people dismiss others very quickly. If someone isn’t talking about the subjects or opinions they care about, they immediately write them off and assume they have nothing to learn from them. You shouldn’t do this.
Image credit: Clinton Sparks
Let’s say someone is talking to you about real estate, but that topic is irrelevant to your business, career or personal life — most people would normally not care to listen actively. What I do in these situations is care. I care about:
- The person — I give everyone the time of day to speak their mind
- Listening — even if I don’t agree with them, I care to listen
- Learning — I care what others care about, even if I don’t necessarily care about the topic
There is valuable information everywhere, but most dismiss information they don’t see as valuable or seem to think they understand where the value lies for them.
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Here’s the thing: You can listen to the greatest teachers and entrepreneurs, but you should also listen to neighbors, interns, that weird guy from work, or even a street artist. All of this information is extremely useful and valuable for building a powerfully informed and armed you.
It’s the mentality behind it, the personality of those who do it, and the emotion attached to it. You are never selling a product or a service. You are always selling a feeling. When you understand what people feel, need to feel or want to feel, you can sell anything to anyone and capitalize on your ideas.
People want to feel power, safety, coolness, success, health, strength, and happiness from whatever you have to offer. You just need to understand the person you are dealing with, which will help you identify what feeling is best suited for them.
How to get started
Pay attention to people when they speak, their body language, or even what they post and write on social media. When I’m speaking to people, I am learning their personality profiles. This includes people’s awareness, timing, wording, how they listen back, how they hear, what they react to, tone of voice, etc. Learning these profiles allows me to know better what kind of information people care about or what will move them. It also helps me learn how to deal with or approach other individuals better.
Image credit: Clinton Sparks
But remember: this only works if you allow yourself to go into every conversation open-minded and willing to care enough about the person to hear what they are saying — and ultimately, you know that there is always something to learn.
There are many benefits to adopting this philosophy about people. Including:
- You won’t underestimate people
- You won’t miss out on opportunities
- You learn how to grow small ideas into big ones
- You’ll make better use of your time
- People will like and respect you more
- You learn better how to communicate with this certain personality type for future situations
The caveat is that everyone should be listened to, but not everyone should be listened to the same way. You wouldn’t listen to an intern telling you about their weekend like you would listen to your boss express his frustration with your work. But if you listen to everyone with the same attention and intention, you’ll be able to reap the aforementioned benefits. Don’t label conversations as unimportant, stressful and wasteful. Listen and care so you can learn.
I don’t avoid any conversation unless it’s something I’ve heard from this person several times, and it’s the same grievance — but even that has value. They may say something a bit different this time that helps you really understand the root of their issue, or you may be in a different mood that allows you to hear the same thing differently. There is a difference between overthinking and thinking things over.
This also doesn’t mean you must let someone talk your ear off. After I give someone the same attention as everyone else, I can direct a conversation to the end after I’ve identified what they were looking for in a conversation (power, empathy, happiness, success, etc.) and give that to them. By the end of the conversation, I can walk away knowing they felt heard and I learned something from their personality type. This “conversation hack” has helped me identify what people want and helped grow my businesses to where they are today.
It sounds easy to just start listening to everyone more, but it requires an insane amount of self-awareness and patience, which are byproducts of truly caring and understanding others. So, technically, the more you give your attention to different types of people, the easier it will become.
How this applies to business
Remember that most people like to hang around like-minded people because they want their ideas and thoughts endorsed. Using my conversation tactics will allow you to tap into different groups of people because you are satisfying a feeling that they may only be able to get from their inner circles.
Regardless of where you are in life or your success, you need to learn how to sell to others; this conversation tactic helps with that. You may disagree and think you aren’t trying to sell anything or a salesperson.
You would be wrong.
You are always selling and have been selling since you were a kid. Whether it’s why someone should be your friend, why someone should date you or why you should be hired or trusted. You even understood the timing of when to sell by waiting for the right time to ask your parents for a snack, a new toy, or to have a sleepover. You didn’t ask them when they were noticeably angry because you understood their feelings and cared enough (about yourself) to ask when it would be more in your favor.
So, stop being blinded by the transaction or being something you are not. It’s okay to sell yourself; one of the best ways to do that is to invest in others. When you care enough to care about others — you will be exactly what everyone needs.
Your friend,
Clinton
