For many, the end of the year is synonymous with holiday cheer, togetherness, and relaxation. But for others, the “most wonderful time of the year” can be stressful and emotionally challenging. If you feel overwhelmed as the year winds down, know that you’re not alone—and that there are mental health tips you can try to make your holidays just a bit more merry.
But first, why is the end of the year a hotbed for stress? “We go into the holiday season hoping that we can step away from the pain of current events, painful family dynamics, and grief,” says Sadie Salazar, LCSW, a psychotherapist and COO of Sage Therapy. “The challenge is that when we put pressure on something to be perfect, it rarely turns out that way.”
Indeed, there’s no shortage of stress-inducing experiences as the year winds down. Family expectations, financial strain from holiday spending, and jam-packed schedules can leave many stretched too thin. And when your reality doesn’t live up to the commercialized ideal of the season, loneliness, overwhelm, and self-judgment can kick in, says Salazar.
“The holidays are also filled with pressure to be with family, and for some folks, that means exposing themselves to people who have done [harm onto them] or continue to harm them,” says Salazar. “Conversely, the holidays can amplify grief when people that we love cannot be with us.”
Sound familiar? You’re not the only one. The American Psychological Association says 89 percent of U.S. adults report feeling stressed around the holidays due to financial demands, family conflict, grief, and more.
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And even if that doesn’t sound familiar, the end of the year can still be challenging because of, well, the time of year, according to Nawal Alomari, LCPC, therapist and founder of Noor Psychology & Wellness. “It’s winter time, so the days are shorter, and depending on where you live, the weather could be a factor,” she says. “All of this can affect your energy levels.”
No matter the source of your stress, there are ways to cope. Here, mental health experts share their tips to help you manage overwhelm and support your emotional well-being as the year comes to a close.
9 holiday mental health tips approved by therapists
1. Set goals
It’s easy to get caught up in end-of-year obligations. To anchor yourself amidst the chaos, Alomari recommends setting one or two simple goals to accomplish during the busy season.
“It can be something as simple as wanting to get a holiday picture, seeing a certain person, providing a meal, watching your kids open their gifts, or having alone time,” she says. “Choose something that is within your control so the holidays can meet a standard that you set for yourself.”
2. Set expectations (and boundaries)
For many people, holiday gatherings bring up conflict that doesn’t just vanish because it’s a season of joy. “Challenging family dynamics don’t suddenly disappear—sometimes the pressure of the season can amplify them,” says Salazar.
She suggests permitting yourself to set boundaries during the holidays, whether that’s only spending a certain amount of time with family or sticking to a budget.
Similarly, Alomari recommends deciding what you’re not going to do ahead of time. “You don’t have to do everything that you’re being asked to do,” she says. “Decide what you’re willing to do, and outside of that, remind yourself that you can say no.”
3. Stick to your routine
The end of the year gets hectic with social obligations, travel, and the holidays. Throughout the busyness, routines are often the first thing we put aside. But Salazar suggests trying to strike a balance so you don’t burn out.
“While spontaneity can be fun, humans need predictability to function optimally,” she says. “Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, give yourself breaks from socializing, and try to resist the urge to push too many things off until the new year.”
4. Keep moving (even if it’s just a little)
Similarly, the year-end hustle and bustle can make it tempting to skip your usual workout routine. But moving your body—even gently—can help reduce stress, according to Salazar.
“Stress and overwhelm are nervous system responses, [and] the most effective way to regulate your nervous system is to move your body,” she says.
She also emphasizes that you don’t need to go all-out with exercise: short or slow movements also make a difference. “A yin yoga or YouTube video, walking your dog, dragging your holiday decorations up from the basement; anything works as long as you are intentional in being present in your body,” she says.
5. Write a letter
The holiday season can feel particularly challenging if you’re grieving, says Alomari. This could stem from the loss of a loved one, a lifestyle change, or the absence of something deeply desired (like having holiday traditions or a partner to celebrate with).
To help manage feelings of loss or loneliness, Alomari suggests writing a letter to the person, experience, or thing you’re grieving as a way to foster a sense of connection, even in their absence. Writing out your thoughts on paper also helps release those feelings from your body and process difficult emotions.
6. Plan ahead
Loneliness can become more acute during the holidays, says Salazar, especially when it feels like everyone else is surrounded by family or friends. So, if you anticipate feelings of sadness or loss, be proactive and schedule something you can look forward to (even if it’s not holiday-related).
“Challenge yourself to reach out to others; don’t wait for plans to come to you,” she says. “Sometimes feeling lonely can have us convinced that we are alone, which doesn’t always have to be true.”
Scheduling time with friends or family, watching a movie you love, or having your favorite treat can all help you feel comforted and grounded, says Alomari.
7. Give back
Tapping into feelings of gratitude, altruism, and community is a powerful way to shift focus from loneliness to a sense of purpose, according to Salazar. And luckily, there is no shortage of volunteer opportunities around the holidays.
Participate in a toy drive, deliver meals to families in need, or volunteer at an animal shelter, says Salazar. As a bonus, spending time with animals helps boost your mood and decrease feelings of isolation.
8. Feel your feelings
There’s often pressure to live up to the joyfulness of the holiday season. But if it’s difficult to keep up a cheerful front, Salazar suggests feeling what you’re feeling without judging yourself for it.
Even better, voice those feelings to a trusted loved one or talk to a therapist. Talking openly about your experience can help combat feelings of isolation, according to Salazar.
Creating time limits or setting healthy boundaries around feelings of sadness can also be helpful, according to Alomari. “For example, let yourself be sad and cry for an hour, and then commit to enjoying the rest of your day,” she says. “It’s not going to take away the pain, but it is a reminder that you can keep moving forward in whatever way feels good to you.”
9. Remember that it’s just a season
Sometimes, the best way to get through end-of-year stress is by reminding yourself that it’s temporary. “The holidays are a bubble,” says Alomari. “It lasts a few weeks, it pops, and then we’re back to our normal lives again.” Like the saying goes, this too shall pass.
