Summer is heating up, and love—or at least lust—is in the air. However, love is no longer the “until death do us part” variety, according to a recent Hims survey. A majority of men (64%) and women (57%) in America say monogamy is outdated, unrealistic, or downright impossible. Others say they just want to keep their options open.
When asked about their feelings towards monogamy, America tipped non-monogamous, with 39% of respondents saying monogamy is the only type of relationship they’d consider, and the other 61% saying otherwise. Specifically, 9% say it’s aspirational but not realistic; 9% say it’s old fashioned and outdated; 7% say they don’t believe it’s possible; and 6% saying it’s possible for women but not men (hmm). Another 7% say they are keeping their options open, and 11% say it just depends—the more sexual options people have, the less monogamous they are likely to be (see Monogamy By the Numbers). 12% say the jury’s out—they just aren’t sure what they think about monogamy one way or the other.
Q: Which describes your feelings toward monogamy?
- 39% It’s the only type of relationship I’d consider
- 11% It depends on how many sexual options a person has—the more options people have, the less monogamous they are likely to be
- 9% It’s aspirational but unrealistic
- 9% It’s old-fashioned and outdated
- 7% I don’t believe people can be monogamous
- 7% I just don’t want to be in a monogamous relationship
- 6% It’s possible for women but not for men
- 12% I’m not sure
America is Open to Open Relationships
Backing up the finding that monogamy is falling out of favor, or at least not as expected as it used to be, America was split on whether they preferred marriage or something other than tying the knot. 54% of respondents said old-fashioned courtship and marriage was their preferred path, with a close 46% saying they are looking for something else. Furthermore, 7% of respondents are currently in an open relationship, including 15% of Gen Z respondents (see below), about the same percentage of respondents who report not being married, but in a monogamous relationship (8%).
Sexual experimentation also tied with sexual comfort as America’s preferred way to express their romantic relationships (49% vs. 51%, respectively) and one-third of respondents (32%) value “a little mystery” over a serious commitment, with women and men being about equally as likely to want some wiggle room in their relationship (29% of women want to keep things open vs. 34% of men).
Gen Z is the least monogamous generation to date—but they’re still looking for love, IRL
As a generation that has consistently bucked the trends, it’s not surprising that Gen Z is the least likely to say monogamy is their preferred relationship style. 68% of Gen Zs, including 65% of Gen Z women and 71% of Gen Z men, say they’d consider non-monogamous relationships. This compares to 64% of Millennials, 50% of Gen Xers, and 43% of Baby Boomers, showing a clear trend between monogamy and generation. Also, it is unsurprising that only 44% of Gen Zs are looking for old-fashioned romance compared to 54% of total respondents. Gen Zs are also 2X more likely to be in an open relationship than respondents overall (15% vs. 7%), and 5X more likely than their Gen X parents to be in an open relationship (15% vs. 3%).
However, as noted in Gen Z is Finding Love the Old Fashioned Way, next-generation relationships don’t necessarily mean virtual ones. 74% of Gen Zs and 77% of respondents prefer IRL relationships to digital courtship. In other words, Gen Zs don’t want to digitize their romantic partnerships; they just want to diversify them.
What else do Gen Zs want in a romantic partner? Ambition. Gen Zs were more likely than other generations to say they prefer ambition to romance, with 38% of Gen Zs picking a partner who is ambitious to one who is romantic, compared to 36.5% of Millennials, 32% of Gen Xers, and 27% of Baby Boomers who feel the same way.
In bed, women call the shots as much as men
In another departure from tradition, women report calling the shots in bed as much as their male partners. 50% of women and an equal 50% of men say, when it comes to who takes the lead in bed, “it’s a 50/50 split.” And what do women want from their partners? Experimentation. Women were nearly as likely as men to say they want sexual experimentation over sexual comfort (48% of women want experimentation vs. 50% of men). Gen Z women were more likely than their Gen Z male counterparts to want to experiment: 55% of Gen Z women want sexual experimentation over sexual comfort compared to 52% of Gen Z men.
This study is based on a 7,100-person online survey, which included (1) 5,000 18-to-65-year-old respondents in the top 50 metropolitan areas (100 respondents per city); (2) 5,000 18-65-year-old respondents in each of the 50 states (100 respondents per state); and (3) a nationally representative sample of 500 18-to-65-year-old respondents to contextualize results. These three categories are not mutually exclusive; some respondents fall within multiple categories. The study was fielded in January 2025.
Findings were analyzed by 190 demographic and psychographic cuts, including city, region, gender (when Hims refer to “women” and “men,” it includes all people who self-identify as such), age, race and ethnicity, relationship status, parenting status, sexual orientation (heterosexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian, pansexual, asexual, queer, etc.), fandoms (music, sports, etc.), and fitness and diet preferences, among other areas of interest.
All data in this study are from this source, unless otherwise noted. Independent research firm, Culture Co-op, conducted and analyzed research and findings.
This story was produced by Hims and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.
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