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As entrepreneurs, we pour our heart and soul into building something, often taking risks others would shy away from. But when things don’t go as planned, the feelings of disappointment, frustration and even shame can be overwhelming.
The truth is that failure is an inevitable part of entrepreneurship. While it’s never easy, learning how to cope with it is essential for moving forward. As Bill Gates once said, “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” It’s often in failure that we learn the most valuable lessons.
Through my own experiences with failure, I’ve found a few key strategies that help manage the emotions and challenges that come with it. Here are four strategies that have helped me — hopefully they’ll help you, too!
Related: 10 Lessons About Failure That Every Entrepreneur Needs to Know
1. Feel your feelings
One of the first things you need to do after experiencing failure is to let yourself feel everything. You can’t make clear decisions if you’re pretending not to be upset. Acknowledge your emotions — whether they include frustration, sadness or anger — and give yourself time and space to lean into those feelings.
At the same time, it’s crucial to set a deadline for when you’ll stop wallowing and get back to work. The amount of time you need should reflect the size of the failure. For example, if your whole business failed, you might need a year. If your product launch failed, maybe a week is enough. Not all failures are created equal, so honor the time you need to get back on your feet.
When my first company didn’t succeed, I felt the weight of that failure deeply. I spent months obsessing over starting another company, frantically coming up with ideas that weren’t great because I was forcing it. Eventually, I realized I needed to step back and give myself space to learn. I decided to spend a year working at another startup, learning as much as I could before even considering starting another business. When I finally did, I ended up founding Lemonlight.
The takeaway here is to give yourself time to process, but also set boundaries. Once you allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, you’ll be clearer and more focused when it’s time to take action — and maybe your next great idea will find you!
2. Talk to other entrepreneurs who have failed
Failure can feel incredibly lonely. The shame and guilt that often come with it can make you doubt your abilities and your future. But you’re not alone, and there are other people (lots of other people) who have been in your shoes! Talking to other entrepreneurs who have also experienced failure is a great way to get back on your feet.
No matter how many articles you read or how many people tell you that failure is part of entrepreneurship, it still hurts when it happens to you. Hearing stories from others who have been there — and have come out the other side — can make the experience feel less isolating. It’s comforting to know that even the most successful entrepreneurs have faced failure at some point.
Reading books about entrepreneurship, failure and growth can also help. Whether through personal conversations or reading about others’ experiences, learning from those who’ve already been where you are gives you the perspective and tools you need to keep moving forward.
Related: Why You Must Embrace Failure to Succeed in Business
3. Make a list of everything you’ve learned
One of the most important things you can do after a failure is to take stock of what you’ve learned. It might not feel like it in the moment, but every failure brings valuable lessons. Take the time to write down everything you’ve learned from the experience, no matter how small it seems. This list will serve as a reminder that your failure wasn’t for nothing — it was an opportunity for growth.
Documenting these lessons while they’re still fresh will be helpful later on. You’ll likely encounter similar challenges in the future, and having this list will allow you to identify patterns and solutions more easily. It also helps shift your mindset from viewing failure as something purely negative to seeing it as a resource that can lead to better decisions down the road.
For example, when my first business failed, I made note of the mistakes I made, the decisions I should have thought through more carefully and the areas where I could have improved. Those insights became invaluable when I started my next venture. They helped me avoid making the same mistakes and laid the foundation for smarter decision-making with Lemonlight.
4. Take contrary action
Contrary action means doing the things you don’t feel like doing — especially the things you want to avoid most. It’s natural to want to retreat after a failure, but this is when you need to take action. Doing things that feel uncomfortable, like attending a networking event or having a tough conversation about your failure, is essential for breaking through the fear and moving forward.
Taking ownership of the situation is key here. It’s easy to let failure weigh you down, but the fastest way to move through it is to face it head-on. Talk about it, be honest about what happened, and embrace the lessons you’ve learned. The more you hide away and pretend the failure didn’t happen, the more you’ll prolong the experience and keep yourself stuck.
When I’ve been at my lowest after a business didn’t work out, one of the hardest things was facing the people I felt like I had failed — explaining what happened and owning up to my mistakes. But those conversations, while difficult, were necessary for closure and growth. They also helped rebuild my confidence.
Every step you take, even the ones that feel scary, is a step toward regaining your momentum. Taking contrary action can break negative patterns, build self-discipline and ultimately help you grow as an entrepreneur.
Related: 8 Steps to Transform Your Failed Business Into a Success Story
Failure is an unfortunate part of the entrepreneurial journey, but it doesn’t have to define you. By using these four strategies, you can cope with failure in a healthy and productive way.
The next time you face a setback, take a step back, assess which of these strategies can help, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. You’ll find that each failure brings you closer to success, as long as you keep pushing forward.
